


Battle Scars

by DarthRaydor



Category: Major Crimes
Genre: Hostage Situation, M/M, Multi, Romance, Semi-Violence, angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-08 09:06:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3203627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthRaydor/pseuds/DarthRaydor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yes, to all of your questions. I'm surprised you guys didn't figure it out sooner I mean. We just saw the episode and there is only one person who recently said they hate leaving witnesses. Even though Rusty is his witness, he will go after the one who knows everything.. Sharon. Don't have a heart attack yet, it's just getting good.</p></blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sharon was sitting in her office on the phone when her squad rolled in from being called out. Getting up from her desk she walked out to the squad room as everyone started to relax. Looking around she noticed Provenza in his chair with his hands behind his head, Sanchez on his computer, Mike looking up DMV records on his laptop and Amy just coming in with Andy.

“Our suspect appears to have vacated his apartment.” Andy mentioned

Sharon narrowed her eyes, “Did the superintendent say anything else?”

Amy chuckled. “No ma’am. The superintendent said the he got the keys to the apartment this morning.”

“Also, Ma’am a witness said that he was last seen making a reservation for Providence, it’s a restaurant on Melrose Avenue.” Sanchez said handing the Captain the report.

As she read through it Andy suggested something anyone in the room wouldn’t have spoken up about. “His reservation is for tonight. Contact the manager of the restaurant tell him or her what’s happening and then do an undercover operation.”

Provenza sat up with a smirk on his face. “Flynn is this some fancy way for you to ask the Captain out on a date.”

Sharon looked up from the manila folder and over at Andy who was standing near his desk behind her. “What, no. I’m just saying.”

Sharon looked around the room and seen every eye on her, including Rustys. “It would be rather convincing.” she mumbled. Andy had a smirk on his face that she couldn’t see but was present to the rest of the squad. “When’s the reservation?” Sharon asked.

“7:30 ma’am.” Sanchez replied.

“Well, Andy, I must go home and change then. We have a date tonight.” She laughed as she entered her office and shut the door.

Later that evening at her condo she was in her room looking through her closet. Pulling out a black dress she put it on and curled the ends of her hair. Freshening up her make-up she heard Andy's voice from the living room with Rusty.

"I'm sure she won’t be too long." Rusty said rather enthusiastically. Putting on her heels she grabbed her clutch and walked down the hall.

"Hello Andy." Andy stood up and walked towards Sharon with a smile.

"You look beautiful." Sharon blushed and bowed her head.

"Thank you, Andy." Walking to the entry table she puts her licenses and badge in her clutch and straps her gun to the inside of her jacket. “Shall we? Rusty, I shouldn’t be home to late.” Getting in her wallet and pulling out some cash. “Here, order you a pizza or go get a burger.”

Rusty put the money in his pocket and smiled. “Have fun and catch the guy.” He smiled and hugged his mother. As they walked towards the door she looked back.

“Do your homework and don’t stay up to late.” Rusty nodded and walked the pair out the door.

"Those two really don't see it." he mumbled as he went to order himself a pizza.

Arriving at the restaurant, Julio posing as a car hop opened Sharon's door. "Ma'am the manager said that he is indeed inside. Sykes and Cooper are here at a table inside as well, and we have snipers and SWAT on standby if needed. Provenza and Tao are in the control van with Buzz."

Sharon nodded as she walked around the car and took Andy's arm. "Thank you, Julio." Sharon and Andy walked into the restaurant and was met by the maitre'd who was smiling graciously.

"Welcome, do you have a reservation?" Sharon and Andy looked at the gentleman

"Yes, reservation for two. Should be under, Flynn." Andy responded.

"Right this way." Sharon and Andy followed the maitre'd, arm and arm and they walked passed Sykes and Cooper. Sharon looked back at Amy who gave her a thumbs up and Sharon just rolled her eyes. Sitting at their table the maitre'd pulled out Sharon's chair.

"Mrs.Flynn your seat." When he spoke to her it caught her off guard.

"Th-thank you." As she sat in her seat she pulled the chair the rest of the way as the maitre'd walked away. "What are you smiling at?" Sharon ask Andy.

"Nothing." He smiled and shook his head. The waiter came by with a bottle of wine.

"M'lady." Sharon nodded. "Yes, please." The waiter filled her glass and she took it eagerly.

"Thank you." Sharon smiled.

"Sir?" The waiter looked at him with a smile.

Andy shook his head. "I'll have water please."

The waiter walked away after sitting the bottle of wine in a bucket of ice. Looking through the menu she decided what she wanted and then closed it. "Why did you ask me to go undercover with you? We could have easily taken him on the evidence we have once he entered the restaurant." Sharon ask as she sipped on her wine.

“Why when we could enjoy dinner and also, watch him. He’s not going to get far we have guys watching his every move, Sharon.” Andy whispered.

Sharon smiled as the waiter came back with Andy’s water and asked if they were ready to order. Sharon ordered a parmesan eggplant and Andy order chicken alfredo. Sharon’s eyes roamed around the restaurant landing on their target for the evening several times. She so happened to be facing his direction and he would look up at her from time to time. When the waiter walked away she leaned into the table and whispered. “You seem to excited for this undercover operation.”  

“How can I not? I'm a fake date with a beautiful woman.” Sharon rolled her eyes

“One of our guest wanted you to have this, ma’am.” Sharon looked at Andy as a note was placed on the table near Sharon’s glass. Sharon opened it and her shocked looked instantly turned to terror.

“What is it? What does it say?” Andy asked.

“It says, it- “I know who you are.” Sharon handed the note to Andy and neither one knew what to do. Sharon hung her head and took deep breaths. Deputy Chief Howard went to Andy and seen the note then walked away to find the manager. Sykes and Cooper stood near Sharon while Andy went to assist Fritz and McGinnis.  Sharon stood up and walked towards the front of the restaurant. "Andy I'm gonna go home. You guys stay safe and keep an eye on our suspect."

"Alright. Call me when you get home." Andy said as he rest his hand on her arm.

As she walked out of the restaurant she headed down the sidewalk towards her car. Digging in her purse for her keys she heard a screeching noise and looked behind her to find two men running towards her. Sharon grabbed her gun from her purse and shot the man in the leg before he could grab her.

Everyone in the restaurant heard the gunshot and ran out of the doors as Sharon was being pushed into the van. "SHARON!"

"Damn it!" Taylor yelled. 

Sharon was sitting in the floor of the van with her hands tied her gun gone and a bag over her head unconscious.  There was another vehicle waiting. The two men got out and pulled Sharon's body out and into the other van.

Sharon woke up in a strange room. It was cold and she suddenly got a sick. Her head was pounding and she couldn’t soothe it. “Where am I?" she asked herself. Shaking her head she told herself she wouldn’t cry, she wouldn’t show weakness. Hearing footstep, she came to attention to the direction they came in and stood up slowly. “Who’s there?” Moving herself against the wall, she mentally took in the sounds, smells, and what she could see around her that the moonlight brought in from the small windows.

“Captain Raydor, long time no see.” The voice was familiar and often haunted her dreams. Taking a deep breath she hesitated before she spoke.

"W-What do you want?” Sharon had a stutter in her voice. Her nerves were getting the best of her. When the man stepped into the moonlight she instantly became frightened. She wanted an out she wanted to leave, she prayed to God to grant her that way.  “What do you want with me?” She asked.

The man was slowly walking towards her. She noticed he had changed since the last time she saw him. She knew if she died today, her thoughts were about her children. She thought of Rusty, Ricky, and Emily. As the man got closer he towered over her.

“I wanted to see you.” Harrison plainly stated.

Sharon became confused. “Why?”

"It's been a while." Sharon suddenly became ill. She stood against the wall as if it was a protection. Her eyes darted from one end of the room to the other looking for a door. “It's alright Captain. I just want to talk.” He took a large step closer to her and reached around her back halting her movements for freedom.

“Let me go, please.” His hands moved over her body as if it belonged to him. Sharon tried to wiggle out of his reach but it was useless.

“Calm down Sharon.” He shook head. Returning her jacket to her shoulders he grabbed her arm and lead her to a seat. As much as she tried to struggle she was afraid if she resisted he’d kill her faster. “Sit.” As he shoved her into a seat in front of a mirror or so she thought. Sharon had no idea what was on the other side of that two way mirror. “Turn the light on.” Harrison yelled to his partner. When the light turned on, Sharon nearly jumped out of her seat but was stopped by Harrison's hand. Harrison took handcuffs out of his pocket and untied Sharon's wrist and replaced it with the handcuffs. She could hear screaming and pleas for help but she couldn’t do anything. Tears feel down her cheeks as she listened to everything.

Harrison came out of the room and was covered with blood. Standing in front of her she looked up at him with terror in her eyes. Being shoved to the ground was the least of her worries until she felt someone press against her. "NO!" Scraping her knees and losing her shoes she swore she just ripped her dress. The cold and dampness of the floor caused a chill to run through her body. She could sense there was more than just one person near here but she couldn’t see them. The force that applied to her shoulders to keep her down on her back on the floor was painful. The rattle of chains is what got her attention, she couldn't tell where the movement was coming from. Closing her eyes she thought about happier moments and tried to block out what was happening.

"Where is the video footage!" Chief Taylor commanded.

"Right here sir." Buzz handed him the ipad.

"I want DMV records on this plate." Chief Taylor ordered.

"Chief there is blood over here!" Andy shouted.

“Do you have anything on the other suspect from the restaurant?” Chief Taylor asked, Buzz.

“No, sir.” Buzz responded.

"I want officers at every vacant building within a thirty mile radius." Chief Taylor shouted.

A cell phone rang, and it was Andy's phone. "Lieutenant Flynn." He answered. Andy was on his phone with Rusty for a good twenty minutes explaining the situation to the boy before he hung up with a sad look on his face. He regretted telling Rusty for now he would worry until he knew more.

“We will find her, alright.” Provenza responded. They left the location of the restaurant and went patrolling for the van. This went on for at least three hours and no luck yet on finding Sharon.

Sharon was screaming and crying to be let go. What he was doing to her was incredibly painful. Closing her eyes she she tried to focus on happy thoughts every time he did something. Brushing the hair from her face she can just see a little of his face as the moonlight shines through the small window.

"No. Please." Sharon started to cry silently.

"Leave us." Harrison ordered. "Let's have some fun Captain." Harrison pulled out a knife and Sharon instinctively tried to fight him off. As best she could with her hands pound she started kicking. Harrison grabbed her by the hips and slammed her against the floor with his body and the knife just inches from her throat. Looking away her very thoughts were of Andy and how she wished she would have said how she felt at the restaurant. For the past year their relationship has become more than just friends but to them or just her she sees it as friends. Maybe she is just afraid. Harrison moved the knife from her throat and makes a trail down her chest towards her stomach. Shaking her head she looks up towards the window, not to wish to see the face of the man who wants to kill her. Gunshots, or what sounds like gunshots were heard in the building. Harrison turned his head towards the door and Sharon so desperately wanted to smile. "You’re friends are here." Sharon wanted to scream she wanted to lead them in the direction she was being held. Harrison was so close to her that it was mentally impossible. Harrison immobilized Sharon by stabbing her in the stomach causing her to scream alerting the officers of her location. The footsteps got louder, the voices got closer. Harrison pulled the knife from Sharon's stomach and she grabbed her stomach in pain.

The room Harrison and Sharon were in was locked. They could hear them moving around on the inside. A small door leading to an ally that held a waiting getaway van for Harrison. He opened the door and went back for Sharon. The door was busted open and Harrison ran away. She was so exhausted and in pain she couldn’t get herself to be happy they founder. The officers entered the room and turned on the light. "She's in here!" Andy yelled. "Sharon?"

Sharon laid on the ground clutching her stomach and a small smile formed on her lips. "Andy."

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, to all of your questions. I'm surprised you guys didn't figure it out sooner I mean. We just saw the episode and there is only one person who recently said they hate leaving witnesses. Even though Rusty is his witness, he will go after the one who knows everything.. Sharon. Don't have a heart attack yet, it's just getting good.

**[Flashback]**

_Sharon was getting ready to go home after a long day and a very stubborn suspect when she shuts down her laptop and goes to grab her purse Andy walks into her office with the same goofy smile he has every time he walks in her office. “Hey, you have a minute?” Sharon nodded her head as she sat her purse on her desk and got her keys out. “I figured at this time of night Rusty is probably already in bed and you haven’t eaten. Do you want to get an early breakfast?” Andy looks at his watch and sees the time. “Yes, I do believe it would be an early breakfast.” he chuckled. Sharon smiled and walked around her desk._

_“Sure, why not.” Sharon and Andy walked out of the police station arm and arm and down to the parking garage. As they walked towards Sharon’s car the two talked animatedly. Nothing between them couldn’t end up in laughs they had a good relationship. Being that comfortable around someone is what was easy about their relationship. Sharon clicked the button to unlock her Genesis and she stood near the driver side door. “Where shall we go?” She looked up at Andy as he hovered in front of her looking down with a smile._

_“Where ever you want to go. I don’t mind.” Sharon nodded._

_“Get in.” she smiled. Andy walked around to the other side of the car and got in._

_“So, where are we going?” Sharon smiled as she pulled out of the parking garage._

_“You said breakfast and I want pancakes. No one has better pancakes than IHOP. Well, Rusty makes pretty good pancakes but not as good as IHOP” Andy couldn’t stop laughing._

_“Of course, I should have known.”_

_Animated chatter circulated through the car as they made their way towards IHOP. They would bring up random things like past suspects that made them laugh or just random things they would do on a regular basis. Laughter just radiated off them. Sharon pulled up to IHOP and into a parkspace. Turning off the engine she looked over at Andy. Grabbing her sweater from the back seat she wrapped it around her body as she watched Andy exit the vehicle. Opening the driver side door for Sharon he held out his hand like a gentleman to help her exit the vehicle. “Well, aren’t you sweet.” Putting her purse on her shoulder they walk side by side into IHOP. As soon as she got inside she inhaled. “You know, I could live on pancakes but then again I don’t think that’s a good idea.”_

_A young girl stood before them “Two.” both nodded and said yes and followed them to their booth. “The waiter will be right with you.”_

_“Hi, my name is Taylor. Would you like to start off with some of our house coffee?” Sharon looked up at the girl with a smile._

_“Yes, please.” The girl looked at Sharon with a tilt of her head._

_“You’re Captain Raydor.” Sharon’s smile got bigger._

_“I am, do I know you?” The girl shook her head._

_“I go to school with Rusty, he has a picture on his phone of you. He talks about you a lot. We play chess together.” Sharon looked at Andy and then back at the girl._

_“He never mention he played chess in college. He has such a passion for it, I would figure he would have mentioned it.” she chuckled._

_“Oh no, we play in the courtyard between class hours. We have speech together. I’ll go get your coffee.” The young girl walked away and Sharon pulled out her phone and texted Rusty._

_“What are you doing? You’re gonna wake him just because you met one of his friends.” Sharon looked up at Andy and back at her phone._

_“Fine.” and she stuck her phone back in her purse._

_The young girl brought their coffee and had a bright smile on her face. “So I just texted Rusty, and told him that his mom is sitting at one of my tables.” she laughed. Setting the coffee pot down she asked if they were ready to order._

_“Oh I didn’t realize he was awake.” Sharon looked up from her menu._

_“He’s not he never responded.” She responded._

_“I’ll just have one pancake and side of bacon, dear.” and closed her menu and handed it to the girl._

_“I’ll have the same.” The girl wrote down their order._

_“I’ll have that out shortly.” she said and walked away._

_“She seems like a nice girl.” Andy said with a smile. “Speaks fondly of Rusty.”_

_Sharon looked down and bit her lip. “Yes, but Andy, you do know Rusty is gay, right?”_

_Andy raised an eyebrow. “I mean I sorted had suspicions, but I actually - never mind.” Sharon chuckled._

_“It’s alright, he just told me. I wasn’t shocked, I suspected.” Sharon responded._

_A few minutes later the girl brought their food and still had a smile on her face. “Y’all enjoy.” And the girl walked away to check on another customer._

_“Thank you for asking me to come. I would have went home to probably a sandwich or cold pizza Rusty ordered and then went to bed. But this is more fun.” She said before taking a bite of her delicious pancake._

_“You’re welcome, Sharon.” Andy responded._

_They talked and ate it was their normal routine. The loved each other's company but both were in denial about that they were actually on dates because they would go to dinner several times a month. "Andy can I ask you like a personal question? It's something Rusty said when we left for the ballet a few weeks ago, it's been on my mind ever since."_

_Andy nodded as he fought to chew his food and swallow quickly. "Sure."_

_Sharon straightened her posture and took a sip of her water. "Rusty told me that what we are doing, our dinner dates, I mean they are just between friends right? He said since we go several times a month it is more than that and I was just quizzical and I wanted to ask you because Provenza made a joke the other day that you follow me around the office like a love sick puppy." She laughed. "I'm sorry I just had too. It was too funny to pass up."_

_Andy's eyes grew wide. "I'm going to kill him." He responded and shook his head._

_"Oh please don't because then I would have to arrest you." she said as she raised her eyebrows at Andy's joke._

_"I know, I mean. I know we do I - honestly I do care for you, Sharon. But, I know that you just think of us as friends and that's alright." Sharon nodded and leaned back in her seat her hands folded in her lap. Andy began to continue speaking and was interrupted by Sharon._

_"Andy, I do - I do think of us as friends. We are closer than anyone else at work. I don't go anywhere with the rest of them. I care for you as well, I enjoy going out with you I do. If we were to take this further, you wouldn't be able to work for me anymore. We would have to keep it secret. IAB, wouldn't allow-" Sharon was suddenly interrupted._

_"Sharon, I don't care what Internal Affairs says. I don't care about rules when it comes to work relations. I know you are all about rules and regulations but for once step outside that box." The waitress dropped off the ticket and walked away again. Sharon nodded and contemplated. "Please, just - just think on it. I know being friends isn't that bad. I actually love it. We have a lot of fun." Sharon smiled and took a sip of her coffee._

_"Alright." Sharon nodded._

_Sharon and Andy left IHOP and were headed back to the station so Andy could get his car. The ride back was different than the ride to. Once they entered the station parking garage he smiled and kissed her cheek. “I had fun, Sharon. I’ll see you in the morning.” And then exited the vehicle._

_“Andy.” Sharon yelled towards him as she rolled down the window. “Thank you.” Andy smiled and she began to pull out of the garage and towards her condo._

**[Current]**

Paramedics rushed in to treat Sharon and take her to the hospital. All of her detectives and other officers stood out of the way. The paramedics put Sharon on a gurney and took her to the ambulance. Andy followed quickly, just the sight of Sharon in an oxygen mask and her favorite dress ripped and the way she looked caused his heart to ache. Inside the ambulance, Andy held Sharon's hand as the made their way to the St. Catherine's.

Arriving at the hospital they immediately treated Sharon's wound. Pacing the waiting room, Provenza and the others followed by Rusty came walking in. "Is she alright."

"I don't know. They haven't come out here yet."

"Lieutenant?" Andy turned around quickly. "Captain Raydor sustained a stab wound to the abdomen and has bruising. Other than that she is going to be fine."

"Can I see her." Rusty spoke up.

"Are you her son?"

"Yes."

"Sure. I'll take you too her." Rusty followed the doctor to Sharon's room and the whole time he was nervous and scared. He knew Sharon as this person who was always able to handle herself; she was never broken in front of him. When the doctor opened the door and lead him into the dark room that's when he saw the woman who was his life savor, his mother, lying there battered and bruised.

Sitting in the chair next to her bed he held her hand as the doctor and nurse left the room. "I love you, Mom."

* * *

Sharon woke up to Rusty next to her. She smiled and ran a hand through his blonde hair. Sharon made a mental note to get her son a haircut soon. Rusty laid beside her with his head on her thigh and his hand still holding hers. Deciding not to wake him she grabbed the remote that was laying next to her leg and turned the television on. Grabbing her glasses off the table she watched a movie on Lifetime. A loud noise from out in the hall woke Rusty from his slumber. “Well hello there. ” Sharon said as Rusty sat up.  The way she was acting was a front to not alarm Rusty or anyone else of the constant battle going on in her head. The fear she always had, now knowing he got away.

"Sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep. I told myself I would stay up. Apparently I couldn't. Do you want me to get you anything?"

"No I'm fine. Thank you."

"You know, you don't have to be brave around me. I know you are trying to but I can tell on the inside you are screaming and crying."

"It's hard to feel anything right now, Rusty. After what he did to me. After what I had to go through. I am just grateful I am alive. Rusty, those hours he had me I will never get them out of my head but I can't scream and cry right now."

"Okay."

One of Sharon’s doctors peek his head around the door before he came in. “Hey there, you’re awake.” Sharon and Rusty looked towards the door as the doctor walked in. “We want to try and get you up and walking around today." Sharon nodded. Rusty got up to get Sharon’s robe and hand it to her has she sat on the side of the bed. As a nurse came in to help her.

“Rusty hand me the pajamas in my bag that Andy brought, I am freezing.” Laying the pajama suit on the bed he exited the room and stood out in the hallway where he met Andy and Provenza sitting in chairs.

“I didn’t know you guys were here?” Both Lieutenants looked up at him and smile.

“Just got here. We seen a nurse and a doctor go into her room so we didn’t want to crowd her.” Andy responded.

Rusty looked back then forward. “She’s changing into her pjs you brought her. They want her to start walking. She was cold. I noticed she had these bruises on her legs. Where those there when you found her?” Andy looked at Provenza and tried to recall but couldn’t.

“I don’t know. But there was a lot going on yesterday. Also, you have to think. She’s been through a lot, he put her body through a lot she’s going to have bruises in a lot of places. It’s going to be alright.” Provenza explained.

Rusty turned around when he heard voices of the doctor and nurse behind him. Sharon held on to the doctor as she walked slowly towards Rusty. “Captain Raydor, you look stunning on this fine afternoon. May I assist you in your walk.” Provenza mention with a smirk. Sharon raised her famous ‘go to hell’ eyebrow and he shut up.

“Shut up, Lieutenant. Yes, you may.” Sharon wrapped her arm around his and they took off slowly down the hallway. “We know nothing is going to change her attitude towards Provenza, ay.” Rusty looked up at Andy and smiled. Andy rolled his eyes and followed behind them.

“Lieutenant Flynn.” he said while he answered his phone. “Sykes, yes she’s right here.” Andy walked up to Sharon and handed the phone to her.

“Hello.” Sharon placed the phone to her ear and heard Amy’s voice on the other end. “I’m doing alright, thank you. You are keeping Julio in line while I’m not there?... Good… No you guys don’t have to do that, I’ll be home in a few days. Alright.” Handing the phone back to Andy she continued her walk around the second floor.

Sharon and Provenza got around towards the elevators and the doors opened with a ding causing Sharon to stop walking. “It's alright.” Provenza whispered. Taking a deep breath she continued walking but to only be stopped by her son and daughter.

“Mom?” Sharon looked up and seen the conflicted looks on their faces.

“What are you doing here?” Ricky and Emily  walked the rest of the way towards her slowly only to have her take a step back.

“It’s alright. She’s just still a little off when it comes to being touched.”

“But she’s fine.” Ricky asked quickly.

“Yes, I’m fine.” She responded.

“I saw it on the news mom why - why didn’t you call me?” Sharon looked up at him as she took a deep breath.

“I didn’t want you two to be worried. I am sorry.” she responded.

“Sharon?” Sharon looked back at Rusty and seen him walking towards her.

“Rusty, fill Ricky and Emily in I'm going back to my room.” Sharon returned to her room and of course the kids followed.

“Mom, please don't shut us out." Emily tried to explain to Sharon but to her, she was afraid at what they would say. Taking a deep breath she turned around slowly and put a hand on Rusty's shoulder for support.

"Ricky, Emily, I'm not ready to talk about it."

"Kids why don't we go to the cafeteria and get something to eat?" Andy suggested.

Sharon sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall. She has changed, she isn't herself and she can feel it. All she wanted was to turn back time and wish that this never happened. "Rusty." Sharon looked down at the floor her hands playing with the ends of her hair. "Will you stay?"

"Sure."

Rusty sat beside her and took her hand in his. "I know you don't want to talk about it. But like you always told me about my situation. Talking about it can make it better than harboring it" Sharon smiled and rested her head on her son’s shoulder.

"I am thankful that you listen to me."

"Sometimes. Nah I'm kidding. I've never had someone who cared as much as you do."

"I'm tired, I think I'm going to take a nap." Rusty helped her get into bed and covered her up.

"I'm here, I promise I wont leave in case you need me." Sharon smiled and squeezed his hand.

"Thank you." Rusty sat in the chair and did as he did the night before and held her hand and watched tv until he fell asleep.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have read your reviews and thank you so much. Like I mean it you guys are like so awesome. Also to the ones who are like speaking German totally had to ask my cousin what you said and I'm not sure if this is right but, Vielen Dank. I hope I spelled that right. 
> 
> So this is a flashback&current chapter. Sharon is dreaming of something happy to try and rid herself of the fear that her dreams are encasing her in.
> 
> I wrote this chapter to Lullaby - by Nickelback  
> I would listen to it like on repeat while reading it helps set the mood. There is going to be like two more chapters I think.

It had been three days and Sharon was ready to go home. Luckily she was recovering well enough that they would send her home today. Rusty was at school so Andy and Amy would take turns staying with her. The room was quiet, she laid back against the pillows and stared at the ceiling. She had to get used to being alone, she couldn’t have someone with her twenty-four / seven. Andy walked in and a smiled appeared on her face. “How you feeling? I brought you something to eat. Figured you might be hungry.” Andy sat the containers on the table and sat on the edge of the bed.

“I am, thank you. I wont eat the food here, it’s disgusting.” She said laughing. Andy opened the containers.

“Cheeseburger and french fries.” Sharon smiled.

“You're Welcome.” Andy took a drink of his coffee and smiled.

“So how has your day been?" Andy asked.

“Can we talk, Andy? It’s nothing bad.” she smiled. “For the past few days with everything, it's got me thinking about a lot. It’s got me thinking... about us.” Andy stopped eating and placed his hands in his lap.

“Okay. I’m listening.” he replied. Sharon moved the table out of their way and she moved closer towards him.

Andy looked into her eyes and he felt his heart fall into his stomach. Whenever he looked at Sharon or into her eyes it always made him feel as though nothing around them existed. Andy had told Sharon a month ago that his feelings for her were true and admitting that he was afraid he actually pushed her way. Their friendship meant everything to him. Watching every movement she made just made him smile, made him crave the very touch she placed upon his arm throughout the day. He knew he had to be dreaming if she actually wanted to be more than just friends. Sharon never actually said that more than just friends was okay. When he would sit at his desk and Sharon would walk by, the pull she has on his heart was achingly painful. She doesn’t even know she has taken his heart. Andy tries so hard to gain her interest and to get her attention. The dates, the small talk, but to Sharon it just seems maybe she doesn’t want more than that.

“Andy?” Sharon placed her hand on his arm and smiled at him. He was staring right at her and it was like he was looking right through her. He got to thinking, maybe she wants this, maybe she doesn’t care about the rules on work relationships anymore. Andy could feel the smoothness of her hand, the warmth that radiated off her skin. “Andy!?” Sharon was snapping her fingers in front of his face to get his attention. When he came back to reality and escaping his thoughts he smiled at her.

“Sorry.” Looking down her hand was in his. How that happen neither of them know.

“Andy, what I was saying before you decided to check out on me was… This thing it’s got me thinking that my feelings for you are stronger than I thought. At first, I was afraid to admit them. But when you - when you told me you share the same I knew it just wasn’t one sided. The whole time I was literally facing death you were all I could think about besides my children of course.” Sharon looked out the window and could feel her heart flutter when she felt his hand on her knee.

“Sharon, my feelings for you grow stronger each day. When I saw you lying on that floor bleeding I knew I had to stay strong for you and not lose it. I had to make sure you were ok. No matter what your best interest and your safety are always going to be my first priority."

"Thank you.” Sharon had a tear fall down her cheek. Andy pulled Sharon into a hug.  

“Will you stay with me until Rusty, gets back from school?” Andy nodded and sat next to Sharon on the bed.

"Let's watch a movie and finish our lunch." Sharon laughed and nodded. Andy pulled the rolling table back towards the bed and the ate their lunch and watched whatever was on the television.

"This movie isn't that bad." Andy mentioned

Sharon laid down her burger and nodded , the two watched and ate and chatted quietly and they would laugh and complain that the characters in the show were crazy. “I do think about you Andy. Sometimes, I can’t get you out of my head.” She wiped the corners of her mouth and leaned her head against his shoulder. “You wanna go for a walk?”

Andy smiled and stood up, “sure.” Grabbing her house shoes he helped her to stand.

“So tell me, how are you guys managing without me?” Andy looked down at her and scoffed.

“Provenza took over your office.” Sharon rolled her eyes.

“I figured, he would.” Andy stopped and stood in front of Sharon. “When you finally are able to go home, and I know you are anxious to go home. Would you like to go to dinner with me? It doesn’t necessarily have to be dinner it can be a movie or something.” She took his hand in hers and smiled up at him.

“They're letting me go home tomorrow, and how about you take me home and we cook dinner and watch a movie. I’m sure Rusty wouldn’t mind." Sharon took Andy’s arm and started walking again.

“I think that is an excellent plan.” He agreed.

The next day Sharon was packing her bag and waiting to be released from the hospital. Andy came in with a doctor and a wheelchair and she was all too eager to leave. “You’ve signed the discharge papers?” The doctor asked.

Sharon nodded. “Yes, I have.” The doctor handed her a piece of paper and a prescription.

“This is instructions on what you are able to do until your wounds especially the one on your abdomen with it as deep as it was to be fully healed. I have talked to Chief Taylor and he suggested this lady here for you to speak with before you return to work. Other than that do you have any other question before I send you home?” Sharon looked at Andy and then back to the doctor.

“No, but I’ll call if I do.” Andy and Sharon left the hospital and headed towards the condo. “I don’t know about you but I could definitely sleep for days. I mean already have but still.” Andy shook his head and just held her hand.

When they arrived at Sharon’s condo she hand him the keys and when she walked in she just stood there. “I was afraid I wouldn’t see this place again.” Sharon walked over to the couch and sat down. “I can’t believe they are going to make me see a psychiatrist, I’m fine. I mean sorta, but I’m fine. I just want to get back to work. I have never taken a day off unless it was required or when I had my children that was it.”

Andy put her bag in her room and came to sit beside her. “You know seeing a therapist isn’t that bad. I do it all the time.” Andy shrugged his shoulders and looked at her. “So what do you want for dinner, or lunch? Seeing as it’s on 12:30.”

“A sandwich is fine. I’m not really that hungry. I think I’m just gonna go take a shower and lay down for a bit, that’s if you don’t mind?”

Andy shook his head. “No not at all.” Helping her up from the couch he watched her walk off to her room. “Sharon.” He called after her.

“Yes.” She said as she turned around with a smile.

“Holler if you need anything.” Nodding she agreed then walked into her room and closed the door.  

When Sharon returned it was well past five pm. “Sorry, those painkillers can knock a person out. Something smells good. What are you cooking?” Sharon walked into the kitchen only to be followed by Andy.

“Spaghetti. Something simple for you, nothing too heavy.” he responded.

Sharon smiled. “You are making garlic bread right? You have to have garlic bread when eating spaghetti.” Andy opened the oven and Sharon’s smile grew wider. Opening the refrigerator she eyed that bottle of wine she so desperately wanted and grabbed a bottle of water instead. “Rusty, did he ever come home?”

Andy nodded. “He did and he told me to tell you that he loves you and he will see you tomorrow.”

Sharon became confuse. “Why tomorrow?” Andy checked on the spaghetti sauce before answering.

“He’s going to stay with Ricky.” Sharon suddenly became speechless.

“Okay.” Sharon went to grab her phone to call Ricky but Andy took her phone.

“I already talked to him.” Sitting in one of the kitchen chairs she looked straight ahead.

“Alright, so is dinner done yet I’m hungry.” Andy fixed two plates and the pair ate as two friends would, with laughs and constant chatter.

The night went on and they ended up on the couch watching Casablanca, one of Sharon’s favorite movies. Cuddled into Andy’s waist her head resting on his shoulder she was an hour in before she fell asleep and he even notice. When the movie ended Andy turned the movie off and the tv and looked at Sharon noticing she was out of it. They were already in a comfortable position that if Andy moved he would probably wake her. So he laid back against the pillows and looked up at the ceiling and running his fingers through her hair until he fell asleep.

* * *

Sharon’s phone began to ring and she lazily reached for it. When she grabbed it off the table she didn’t register at the moment where and whom she had been sleeping with. “Captain Raydor.” the voice on the other line was one she didn’t want to hear this early in the morning. “Chief, good morning. No, I’m fine, just woke up actually. Yes, I can be there in an hour.” Sharon got up and walked into her bedroom. She paced back and forth before she even considered sitting down. Going to her closet she pulled a blue dress and a white blazer and laid them on her bed. “I’ll be there in an hour.” and hung up the phone. Sharon screamed so loud that Andy almost fell of the couch.

Standing in the doorway he peeked through her bedroom door. “You okay.”

Sharon walked out of her bathroom in her robe and the look on her face would scare even Provenza if he was around. “No. Taylor wants me in his office in an hour. They were unable to find Harrison.”

Andy looked confused. “Sharon you’ll be fine.”

Sharon sat down and looked up at Andy. “They need me to come in for a meeting. The moment when I thought we actually had him.”

Andy knelt down in front of her and gave her a reassuring look. “We will find him. We have him for the attempt of murder of a police officer. There is no way he can get out of that. He’s going to prison or hell for that matter.”

Sharon stood up and walked into her bathroom. Leaning against the door she closed her eyes. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

Andy heard the shower head turn on and backed away from the door. “It will be alright, Sharon.”

Forty-five minutes went by and Sharon was finishing getting ready. She stood looking in her bathroom mirror at the bruises and cuts as she fixed her hair. Thinking to herself that she was one of the lucky ones but it also made her feel guilty. Grabbing her shoes she walked out into the living room and seen Andy watching TV. “I don’t know if I can do this.” Sharon said. Walking out the door and towards the elevator pushing the button for the lobby. When the elevator door opened she got in and could hear Andy’s voice down the hall as the doors closed.

“Sharon wait. I’ll drive you.”  It took Sharon and Andy fifteen minutes to get to the office, that which was because traffic was terrible.

“Good morning, ma’am.” Sanchez was waiting for her and gave her a small smile.

“Good morning Julio.” When Sanchez led Sharon into Chief Taylor’s office she walked into her whole division and Andrea Hobbs and Emma Rios.

“Captain Raydor, please come have a seat.” Chief Taylor spoke up from the crowded room.

Andrea and Emma were at the far end of the table with manila folders and stacks of papers, with Chief Taylor. “Alright, we know of the recent events and are all caught up to speed on the actions Harrison took with you Captain. I am sitting in with Rios on this case now to make sure he gets the maximum.” Sharon stayed quiet she was still a little iffy about talking about this situation. “Sharon, would you please tell us everything in detail what Harrison and who his accomplice was and did to you?” Andrea stated as she looked towards the captain. Sharon’s breath suddenly hitched in her throat and she grabbed Amy’s hand.

“S-sure.” Sharon responded.

“Take your time Captain.” Amy whispered as she squeezed her hand.

Sharon suddenly felt as though there was no oxygen in the room. Everyone was staring at her and she wanted to speak but there were no words. She took a deep breath and mentally told herself that he can’t hurt her anymore. “I got this weird not and it spooked me so I told Andy I was going to go home I couldn’t further myself with this investigation for that evening. When I left the restaurant I was walking towards my car when this van came up out of no where. Once I got in the van they bound my wrists and put a bag over my head. I don’t know how long were were driving because it all seemed like seconds. I was hit over the head with something but I don’t know what.” Sharon explained. Before she could say more Andrea spoke up.

“Did you see Harrison at all?” She asked.

“No, I did not. I didn’t see him until I woke up at some random building. I think it was a warehouse it kinda smelled like one. Anyways, my hands were still tied and I heard a voice and I tried to stand but my head was spinning so I just sat there and that’s when I saw James Harrison. I was held in that same room, and what felt like hours he beat me with something and held me down as they- as he-” Sharon couldn’t say it, she was starting to cry and Amy moved closer towards.

"Who's James Harrison?" Rios asked.

"Sharon put him away a few years ago, a guy who rapped and murdered a police officer. He took a liking to the Captain during the interview." Mike responded.

“It’s alright.” Amy whispers.

“Maybe she should take a break.” Andy chimed in from the back.

“No, I’m fine. I can keep going.” Sharon retorted. “As I was saying he - he held me down and..”

“Captain.” Chief Taylor ordered.

“He did things to me. He pinned me down on the cold dirty floor as he violated me.” She said with anger she almost wanted to vomit.

“So there was more than just Mr. Harrison and and his accomplice.?” Rios asked.

“It felt like it. I’m not entirely sure, it was dark and I had somehow managed to lose my glasses. So I couldn’t tell you if there was. I’m sorry.” Sharon looked down at her hands that were in her lap as everyone remained quiet or stared at her.

“What did Harrison do to you, Captain?” Rios asked.

“He forced himself on me and held me captive. What else do you want me to say?” Sharon wiped away tears as she began to explain further. “He sat on me to keep me still and he cut me with this knife that he had. I heard footsteps and gun shots from police officers and he got distracted and he left and left me there too I don’t know bleed out but he came back for me but it was too late so he ran.”

“Is that all, Captain?” Andrea asked.

“Yes, that is everything.” Sharon responded. Sharon stood up and walked towards the door. “Excuse me, I need - I need some air.” Sharon walked out of Chief Taylor's office and towards her own. Closing the blinds she sat down at her desk and turned her chair towards the windows and just cried.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'alls reviews crack me up. I got one this morning and it was hilarious.

Sharon sat in her office for what felt like hours just crying and staring out the window. Having to retell, relive those memories that haunted her dreams every night since caused a pain to shoot through my heart. To know that Andy had heard what that man did to Sharon broke her heart. Sharon never wanted him to hear what they did to her but it was bound to happen eventually. Sharon is such a private person that telling her whole squad and then some about this whole situation really makes her uncomfortable.She’s just glad Rusty wasn’t there. If he was she doesn’t know what she would have done if he heard. He’s already had such a hard life and he doesn’t need to hear what happened to her. Andy walks up to Sharon’s office door and knocks softly.

Wiping away the tears that stained her face before whoever knocked came in. Sharon turned around in her chair she hollered for the person to come in. When she got sight of who it was she stood to her feet and immediately pulled him into a hug.

“Andy.” When Sharon pulled away more tears poured from her eyes that they blurred her vision. I felt strong arms pull me closer and I knew right then he wasn’t going to let me go.

“Are you alright?” Andy mentioned.

“I don’t know. I just had to tell a whole bunch of people what I went through. I’m such a private person that that is something I find very difficult. Also the fact that it was very hard for me to explain, out loud.” She responded. Sharon took a deep breath and told herself she wasn’t going to cry. “Andy, there is something I didn’t tell them.”

“What is it?” He asked.

“I tried to fight back yes. But I just gave up. I was already bleeding in various places that I was too weak. I wish I had an adrenaline rush or I would have in that moment but I didn’t fight back. Because I knew I’d lose.”

“You didn’t fight back, you just laid there.” Andy finally spoke. His anger seeping through in each word it felt like daggers.

“Why are you mad?”

“Because you have the training and you could have fought him off, Sharon!”

“You aren’t serious?” Sharon shook her head as she asked. “I fought back as much as I could. He was a lot stronger than me, Andy! I know when not to provoke someone in that situation and I certainly didn’t want to die over it!”

The other detectives in the squad room could hear yelling from Sharon’s office but left her alone. Looking at each other they both shrugged and sat back waiting for Sharon and Andy to come out of the office.

Sharon suddenly became angered with what Andy said. How could he say that? She wanted to cry right then but she told myself she wouldn’t. “Andy, please. I can’t have this right now.” Sharon stood in front of Andy and pulled him into a hug. Rusty stood next to the super cubicle and was staring at Sharon’s office. When Sharon and Andy walked out she looked straight at Rusty and stopped walking. Rusty started walking towards Sharon but she took off running the opposite direction.

“Sharon!”

“Give her some time.” Andy said as he stepped into Rusty’s path.

“But she is. She - She needs me.”

“You of all people know how private Sharon is. Just giver her some space for a minute.”

Rusty waited until he couldn’t wait no more. He got up from his seat and walked quickly to the hallway where Sharon retreated. Walking up behind her he placed a hand on her shoulder. “You okay?”

“I just want this all to go away, like it never happened. I probably sound like one of my victims that come in here.”

“Maybe facing it will help you deal with the fact that it happened. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear but it wouldn’t hurt, Sharon.” Rusty leaned against the window his back facing the city as he placed his hand over Sharon’s. “I know you probably don’t want to talk about it now, but I’m here, Sharon. That was what you told me three years ago. Now, I’m here for you. I know I’m just a kid but I love you and I hate seeing you like this.”

Sharon looked at Rusty and smiled. “Thank you. Right now, could we not talk about it, I think I’ve done enough talking for today and I just want to go home or maybe get something to eat. I haven’t eaten today.”  Rusty smiled and wrapped his arm around Sharon. When they got back to the squad room there was no one in sight but Andy. “Where is everyone?” Sharon asked.

“They got a call and I volunteered to stay here because you were still here. Are you alright?” Rusty walked into the office and gathered Sharon’s things while the two talked and he just watched them converse. He waited and then came out with Sharon’s blazer and purse.

“Thank you. Rusty where would you like to eat?"  Sharon retrieved her blazon from Rusty and put it on.

“Burgers?” Rusty replied.

As the three walked out of the squad room and towards the elevator. When it opened Lieutenant Provenza was walking out with Amy. “Where y’all off too?” Sharon entered the elevator with Rusty and waited for Andy.

“Lunch.” Andy responded and got on the elevator.

The hour that they spent together was amazing they talked freely about anything and everything except what happened. Rusty insisted they get burgers and Sharon really didn’t have it in her to say no. They drove in different cars, it was the most uncomfortable car ride for three miles to get Burgers. Standing in the parking lot afterwards they watched as Rusty drove off towards the park to play chess and Andy and Sharon talked. “You are more than welcome to come back to the house, I’m pretty sure he’s not going to be there. I saw his chessboard in his backpack in his car.”

Sharon was leaning against her car as Andy hovered in front of her. “Really, what would we do watch another movie as you fall asleep.” he laughed.

Sharon laughed. “haha. I’m sorry for that and I don’t regret it. You are quite comfortable.” Sharon couldn’t stop smiling. She's pretty sure if she looked in a mirror her cheeks were a nice shade of pink. Sharon pulled the car keys out of her purse and opened the door to start her car. Rolling down the window she shut the door and remained leaning against it. “I don’t know if I can go home by myself, at least not yet. Maybe we don’t have to go back there we could go to the beach. It's a very beautiful day.”

Sharon could see the wheels turning in his head. He took a step forward and leaned against her car. He looked so adorable when he did that. Journey was playing on the radio in the car and the two of them just stood there in the parking lot like idiots as people passed them and some smiled. “A walk on the beach doesn’t sound bad.” Andy moved and grabbed the door handle and opened it. “Your chariot, M’lady.” Sharon just laughed and got in the car. Shaking her head she buckled her seatbelt and rolled up the windows. 'YAY! he’s riding with me.' She internally screamed. 'Don’t look to excited, Sharon he may notice. Of course I want him to.. Am I talking to myself.' When Andy got situated Sharon gave him a smile and pulled out of the parking lot and head for the beach.

Pulling up to the beach Sharon took off her jacket and grabbed a sweater from the back seat and removed her shoes. Leaving her belongings she got out of the car and stood on the sand as the wind blew in her hair. The beach was fairly empty due to it being a school day most working. It was quiet and all you could hear were the crashing of the waves and the seagulls up above. Andy had walked up next to Sharon and she looked him up and down seeing him in his new attire. “Well, I don’t think I would recognize you without a tie, Lieutenant.” Andy had removed his tie, suit jacket, suspenders and he unbuttoned his white shirt and was barefoot like Sharon.

“But I look twice as good now then I did two seconds ago.” Andy responded. Sharon took his hand and took off walking down the beach towards the water. She let go of his hand a couple of feet back and stood just as a wave crashed against the shore. Watching her be so relaxed and carefree he was mesmerized by her beauty and the way the sun captured her skin, the way the wind blew in her hair.

“The water is so cold.” She laughed.

“I bet.” He responded.

Sharon stood there in a sweater and black dress an expensive dress on the beach getting soaking wet from the knees down. What possessed her to do this, she didn't know, but at the moment she didn’t care. Sharon just loved the fact that not caring felt good. As they walked along the beach Sharon couldn’t help but think about what they talked about the other night so she tried her hardest to push that aside and enjoy the view of this beautiful beach. As wave after wave crashed into the shore and Andy would pull them away from the water she would laugh and pull Andy into a wave. She almost tripped until he caught her. Andy literally swept her off her feet, he’s such a gentleman. As she stood there in his arms she looked up at him and before she knew it their lips connected. Something about that situation was so romantic but she didn’t care and neither did he. A photographer who was on the beach had captured the little moment and showed us the picture. He explained the way the shot looked and with the ocean and the pier that it was worthy to be hung in his gallery. She was shocked of course but they thanked him and he gave them the information for his gallery.

They walked hand and hand down the beach and couldn’t stop staring at one another and or take second glances. “Something about today has me admiring the beauty that is beside me.” Andy said. Sharon couldn’t help but blush. After that kiss and what he just said it was so sweet. They continued walking for what felt like miles.

“Let’s sit down for a minute.” Sharon was still recovering and she was growing tired with all that walking. “You know, I’m glad I asked you to come here with me because I probably would have went home and went to bed. Since, I’m not aloud to come back to work yet.” Sharon laid back and crossed her arms under her head and looked up at the sky that was turning a soft orange.

“I’m glad I came with you too.” Andy responded and laid back beside Sharon. Sharon moved closer to Andy and she could feel him wrap his arm around her."You know, we should make this a regular thing, that is if we could find time with our job and all. I should ask my boss what she thinks about time off.” Sharon smiled and looked up at him.

“I’ll take that into advisement, Lieutenant.” Sharon responded with a laugh and laid her head on his shoulder. “But, yes, picnics on the beach does sound like a nice change of pace and would take my mind off of things for a while.”

Time went on and the two stayed in that same spot watching the waves crash into the shore and the sun descend. The occasional runner and photographer would pass by and all Andy and Sharon could think about at that moment were themselves and how much being together felt like nothing could get in the way of their happiness.

Sharon seen Andy look at his watch and stand to his feet. “It’s getting late, Captain and you have a kid at home who is probably wondering where you are.” Andy helped Sharon to her feet and she dusted the sand off of her dress as they walked back in the direction of her car. She didn’t realize how far they walked until she saw how far the pier was away from them. “Andy, I don’t think I can make it that far.” Sharon looked up at him with a small smile.

“We’ll walk slowly and when you tell me to stop I’ll go get your car. Or I could carry you.” Andy responded with a smile.

Sharon held onto him tighter as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. They walked slowly and she just leaned into him and closed her eyes and let him guide her. She certainly over did it today and when the doctors tell you not to over do it, listen. She's  sure Andy noticed she was becoming a dead weight because she suddenly felt no ground under her feet. “Andy, put me down.”

“You are falling asleep walking, I will do no such thing.” When they reached the car, Andy finally put her down and of course he wasn’t going to let her drive so she got in the passenger side and he the driver side. She didn’t know when they got to the Condo because she must have fallen asleep on the ride home which was about fifteen to twenty minutes from the beach, because when she woke up she was on her couch with a blanket wrapped around her and my head resting on Andy’s lap.

“Where’s Rusty?” Sharon asked as she sat up and looked into the dark kitchen and then the clock.

“In his room asleep. I called Provenza he’s coming to get me to take me to my car. Do you want me to come back here once I have my car?” Sharon looked at him and nodded.

“I don’t want to be alone. I know I have Rusty, but the nightmares. I just I know me screaming at night wakes him but he’s so respectful he doesn’t come to my room. I wake up and I just sit against my headboard with my knees against my chest. Once Rusty told me he saw me with my gun in my hand, and I was staring blankly at the wall. Luckily the safety was still on. He managed to get it from me and wake me up but after that he doesn’t come check on me anymore. I can tell sometimes when he stands outside my door or is sitting there because of the shadow. “

“I’ll come back.” Andy responded. A knock at the door alerted both of them that someone was there and Sharon became conflicted. “It’s probably Provenza.” Andy got up and opened the door.

“So what have you two been up to all day that I have to take you to your car?” Provenza immediately stated. Sharon stood up and quieted him and pointed down the hall towards Rusty’s room. “Sorry, Captain.”

“We went to the beach and had lunch that was all. Now let’s go get my car before you wake up the boy.” Andy smiled back at Sharon and mouth he will be back. “Lock the door.” He ordered.

“Yes, sir, Lieutenant.” Sharon locked the door and went to her room to change out of the dress that was sticking to her. When she showered and changed into something more comfortable she checked in on Rusty and then walked into the kitchen for a glass of wine and went to watch some television before Andy showed up. An hour it seemed had gone by before Andy texted and said he was here and was standing outside her door. She let him in.

“Took you long enough Lieutenant.” Sharon was standing in front of him with her hands on her hips and a smile on her face. How was Andy to refuse that.

“No, I thought I’d give you time to do what you needed.” Ah, the perfect gentleman.

“Thank you, Andy. I was just about to watch a movie would you like to pick this one out?”

“As long as it’s not Casablanca, again. I’m good.”

Sharon narrowed her eyes at him and pointed her finger. “Do not mock my obsession with Casablanca. How about Gone With The Wind or A Walk To Remember?” Sharon held up both cases and smiled. “You know both are amazing movies.”

“I’ve never seen a Walk To Remember.”

Sharon put the dvd in and sat next to Andy, well more like cuddled next to Andy. As the movie played and somehow their hands connected. They would occasionally look at each other and smile. When the part of the movie came on when the girl would sing Only Hope, she swore Andy started to cry. Sharon moved closer to him and smiled. Eventually they found themselves in a different position both lying next to each other cuddled on the couch watching the rest of the movie. This time it wasn’t Sharon who fell asleep it was Andy. But she didn’t notice right away she was so engrossed in the ending of the movie. When the credits showed she turned the movie off and as well as the tv. Moving as smoothly as she could to not wake him, she ended up knocking the empty glass over and waking him. Sharon stood to her feet and took his hand. “Sorry. Come on. I don't plan on another night on my couch." Climbing into her bed was the last thing she had in mind with their relationship but she wasn’t going to spend another night on her couch, she didn’t care how comfortable it was. “Goodnight, Andy.” It was no use he was already asleep. So she cuddled next to him laying her  head on his chest and drifted off to sleep.

****  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to be a bit fluffy, idk. I suggest you listen to Patrick Swayze's - She's Like The Wind. It will help understand how he actually feels about Sharon.

Sharon woke up this morning in a peaceful state. She moved about the house with ease and not a care in the world. She actually wanted to get up and do something today other than lay in bed or sit out on the terrace till odd hours of the day in her pajamas. Something in her was different she couldn’t explain it. She heard Andy getting up so she started the coffee and breakfast. When she finished breakfast she fixed his plate and sat it on the table along with his cup of coffee and she walked down the hall to see if he was up. “Andy, your breakfast is on the table.” She walks into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The warmth of the water felt nice against her tense muscles and she just relaxed.

“Sharon, you’re going to be late for your session this morning before work. Hurry up.” Andy hollered through the door. Sharon was in the bathtub her eyes closed. Andy knocked again and no answer. "Sharon?" Andy got worried so he looked for the key to unlock the door and found Sharon unconscious in the bathtub. Rushing to her side he picked her up bridal style and laid her on the bathroom floor. Grabbing a towel he draped it over her and called for Rusty. Andy immediately started doing CPR on Sharon as Rusty came running in.

"Yea."

"Here. Call 911. I should have know. Her good mood was suspicious."

Rusty nodded and did what the Lieutenant asked and stepped out of the bathroom. Andy dried and dressed Sharon is the clothes she had set out and cradled her in his arms. "What did you do? What did you do?"

When the ambulance came Rusty drove Sharon's car and Andy road with them to the hospital. In the ambulance they got Sharon breathing again and in a steady rhythm heartbeat. Upon entering the hospital and many tests and exams. The doctor said it was from lack of nutrients following antibiotics. And ruled it as a drug overdose. Andy knew this wasn't like Sharon. But he seen she hadn't been eating much lately and that with pain medication could cause dizziness and or cause someone to collapse due to weakness. Resulting in her current condition.

Sitting by her bedside he never left. When the other detectives showed up to check on their Captain, Sharon was still asleep. "How is she?" Lieutenant Provenza asked.

"They had to pump her stomach. She's been taking her pain medication and not eating so she almost drowned in her own tub. If I hadn't had been there it would had been too late."  

"Andy, she's going to be alright now. Just remember that. She's been through a lot. And a woman at her age it's a lot to take on. Hell, at any age it's a lot to take on."

"I know. I just I almost left and would if I had. Rusty doesn't bother her while she's getting dressed. He would have never thought to check on her."

"He will from now on, Flynn. You saved Sharon's life today. And she'll be forever grateful to you for that. This was an accident. We all know how much pain she must be in, and these things happen. It was an accident. Alright."

"Alright."

All night long Andy held Sharon's hand or stayed beside her while Rusty slept on the small sofa near the window. Sharon looked so fragile, so pale while she slept. Leaning back in the chair he pulled on her arm and it caused her eyes to flutter open. "Andy." Sharon mumbled groggily.

"Sharon." Andy tightened his grip on her hand and leaned forward so she could see him better.

"I - why does my head hurt?"

"You overdosed on your medication without eating it caused you to lose consciousness. You were taking a bath yesterday morning. It's 4:30 am." He whispered

"I'm sorry it was an.."

"I know. Sharon just rest, I'll go get you some water."

Sharon nodded and turned her head in the direction towards Rusty. Smiling she closed her eyes and fell back to sleep.

The next morning, Andy was called away to help investigate a crime scene. Rusty woke up to find Sharon flipping through the channels fully alert. "Hey."

Sharon stopped what she was doing and looked over at her son. "Hey. I do hope I wasn't to loud. I didn't want to wake you."

"It's fine. You didn't." Rusty moved off the couch and to the chair next to Sharon's bed. "Did they say when you could go home?"

"Sometime today or tomorrow. They want to run some more tests and if they see an improvement I can go home." She smiled. Sharon sat the remote down and took a drink of her water. "If you're up to it. I am not interested in eating hospital food and I'm starving. And I'm sure you are hungry. Could drive down the street and get some breakfast."

"Sharon, I really..."

"Rusty, I'm trying to get you to leave the hospital. You've been here since I got here. I'll be fine for a few minutes. Also, you need a shower."

"Hey." he laughed. "So do you." Rusty smiled.

"I had one an hour ago thank you. You're smelling yourself."

Rusty got up and put on his shoes. "Fine. I'll be back in a few minutes. Call me if you want me to run by the condo or something."

"Alright." Rusty walked towards the door with Sharon's keys. "Hey hey hey. What do you think you're doing? You are not driving my car."

"Well unless you want me to walk. It's the car I drove here when they brought you here. So.."

"You wreck my car, you are grounded for the rest of your life."

Rusty held up his hands in surrender and back his way out the door. "Yes, Captain." Sharon shook her head and went back to finding something to watch on the television. When Rusty returned Sharon was no where to be found. Panicking he put the food down and went to find a nurse. "My mom. She's not in her room."

"A nurse took her for testing a few minutes ago she should be back any time."

"Oh okay." Rusty went back in the room and sat on the edge of the bed and watched tv till Sharon got back.

"You're back!" Sharon exclaimed as she entered the room.

"Yes and I brought you pancakes."

"Thank you. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you got back they wanted to draw some blood and do a weight and nutrition test. They said I'm too underweight so I am being forced to eat. Which I don't agree with." Sharon said as she sat down on the bed and crossed her legs. "What did you get to eat?"

"I already ate." He replied. "I ate while you were gone.”

“Oh, okay.” Sharon ate while they watched tv and mostly sat in silence. A knock at the door had both of them turning their heads to see who it was. “Hey, Andy.”

“How’s it goin?”

“Ok I guess. Just ready to go home.” Sharon responded. Pulling her legs up to her chest. Andy sat beside her and watched television. The doctor knocked on the door and walked in with a smile.

“Good news. Your tests came back and you are able to go home.” Everyone smiled and Rusty got up off the bed so quick to packed Sharon’s bag. Rusty was eager to go home. He was itching to sleep in his own bed and take a shower in his own shower and watch television and be on his computer.

An hour later Sharon, Rusty and Andy were all walking into her apartment and Sharon went straight for the kitchen. Andy looked at Rusty and all he did was shrug. "Must be hungry." Andy went to put Sharons bag into her bedroom and went to see what Sharon was up to. Walking into the kitchen Sharon was leaning over the counter her hand in a box of coco puffs.

"Hungry."

Sharon dropped the box and looked up. "Maybe." Sharon continued eating and smiled at her lieutenant. Apparently the new medication they had her on was making her want to eat.

"How about I have Rusty go get all of us something to eat for dinner and we can have dinner and you can put the coco puffs away." Sharon narrowed her eyes at him and handed him the box slowly.

"O-okay." Sharon walked into the living room and sat down on the couch and pulled her legs up to her chest. Watching television sounded really boring at the moment. "Andy, what's wrong with me?"

"You went through something that no one should ever have to go through so it's normal at how you are feeling."

"I just want to go back to work. But Russell wont let me. I understand why but I can't just sit here; I'm going crazy."

"Would you like to go do something? Take your mind off things."

Sharon smiled and nodded. "Where would you like to go? "

"How about we take a walk on the beach like we always do. The sun is setting so it will be beautiful.

"Alright."

 


	6. Chapter 6

"Sharon you came here today to talk about what happen, correct?" The therapist sat in the chair opposite Sharon and played with the pencil between her thumb and index finger.

"Yes, sorry. I'm just a bit distracted. I have been having nightmares."she responded. Has she looked down at her lap she remember the one she had the night prior and it made her heart race and how Andy wasn't there to wake her.

"Would you mind telling me what it was about? And how often do you have these nightmares?"

"Often. Sometimes Andy is there to wake me but last night, last night he wasn't there. My dream was about what happened to me." Sharon began to explain the details of her dream and when she was finished she was almost in tears. The therapist handed her a tissue and and sat back.

"How come Andy wasn't with you? If you don't mind me asking."

"Got a call and had to leave. I didn't see him until this morning." Sharon looked elsewhere than at the therapist. She could tell he was writing something down but at the moment all her thoughts were on everything else in her life.

"Sharon, why were you starving yourself?" Sharon looked up and went to speak but had no words at the moment.

"The medications they had me on, I didn't have an appetite. I ate just not enough I guess. Just enough to get by through the day. I didn't realize how bad I was getting; eventually I just stopped eating because food just looked disgusting and my mind was telling me I didn't need it."

"Who found you?"

"Andy. I'm glad it was Andy, if my son would have I - I would have never been able to forgive myself."

"Sharon have you talked to Andy about what happened?"

"I don't have to he was there, or well, he heard me talk about what happened when I was called in for a meeting."

"Sharon have you talked to Andy." The therapist pointed her pencil at Sharon and looked her straight in the eyes. "This between you and Andy, whatever you are feeling because of what happened you need to talk to Andy. I can tell by the rigidness in your body and in your eyes you are in a battle with yourself. I've been there. Sharon, you are the key. I know this isn't going to go away overnight or possibly ever. But talking about it with the one person you love will help give you some ground to build yourself back up." Sharon nodded her head and hung her head and looked at her hands. "So this is what I want you to do. I want you to go home and talk to Andy, and in a week I want you to come back here and we will talk more. Okay?"

"Okay." Both women stood up and shook hands and Sharon left the office and walked out to her car.

* * *

That night as Andy stood in the kitchen making dinner, Sharon stood on the balcony staring out over the city in thought as to what she was going to talk to Andy about. Her feelings always got the better of her and she couldn't get herself to open up and make his heart hurt as hers was hurting. Though she often wanted to know what was going on in his head that made him look at her that way. Leaning on the railing she listened to the sounds below and let the cool breeze blow through her hair. "Hello." she heard from inside. "Yea, I'll be right there." Walking back inside she seen Andy putting his suit jacket back on and holstering his gun.

"Where you going?"

"That was Mike. There is a body up on Mulholland. I'll be back before you know it. Dinner is ready. I'll call you." Placing a kiss to her cheek he walked out the door leaving her standing there with her arms crossed over her chest. Taking a deep breath she walked into the kitchen to see what he had cooked, her favorite, and now she doesn't even have the want to eat it. Grabbing the lid that went to the glass dish she covered it and set it to the side to cool before sticking it in the refrigerator. Wrapping her sweater around herself tighter she went to lay down on the couch.

* * *

Andy walked quietly into the condo the next morning and shut the door as quiet as possible not to wake anyone. Removing his jacket and hanging it up he removed his gun from his belt and phone and laid them next to Sharon's. Going towards the kitchen for a glass of water he seen the glass sliding door open and Sharon lying on the couch. Shaking his head he covered her with a blanket and went to close the door. Sitting in the chair and watching her sleep all his thoughts that hindered his focus everyday as he watched the woman he loved suffer because he didn't know how to help her or know of a way to make all of this go away was painful. It broke his heart.

Andy sat there watching Sharon for a while before she started to wake up. When she opened her eyes she seen Andy sitting in the chair in front of her. Smiling she sat up slowly and he noticed she was still in the same clothes she was in yesterday and he shook his head. "Sharon did you sleep here all night?"

"I guess I did. After you left I didn't feel like sleeping in my room and I had so many thoughts and I must have been tired because here I am on the couch." She responded with a weak smile.

"Sharon I'm sorry about leaving you last night. We caught a break in the case and I told the guys I'd come home and be back shortly. I know it's probably too much to ask. You staying here by yourself during the day has to be dreadful. Why don't you come with me into the office. Help solve a murder put some bad guys away and be Captain Raydor again."

"Andy.."

"Please, Sharon we all miss you back there. It's not the same without you. Also, Provenza is threatening to take your office."

"I'm taking my car so I can leave whenever I want to." Sharon demanded.

Andy held up his hands and let her do as she wishes. Walking into the kitchen to get that bottle of water he was wanting earlier he noticed the lasagna on the counter. Tilting his head he took the lid off and seen it hadn't been cut. "SHARON!"

"Damn it." she leaned against the wall in her closet and closed her eyes. She could hear Andy's footsteps coming down the hallway so she grabbed her clothes and ran into the bathroom and shut the door and locked it behind her. Turning on the shower she looked at the door and hung her dress on the back of the door.

"Sharon!?"

"Taking a shower." She responded.

"I don't care open the door. We need to talk."

"No we don't."

"Sharon." Andy banged on the door.

"My clothes are off and I'm in the shower. Go away!" She lied she was standing there with her arms crossed over her chest staring at the door waiting for him to find a way to open it.

"Sharon Raydor, open this door."

"I said go away!" She yelled loudly.

Rusty was just getting back from playing chess in the park and heard them screaming and walked towards Sharon's room. He wanted to laugh but he heard the panic in Sharon's voice and walked further into the room. "Lieutenant, she said for you to go away. Which means just get away from the door." Rusty whispered.

"Fine. But you need to get her to eat. It's been eighteen hours since she's eaten." Andy stepped back and walked into the living room.

"Sharon is that true?!"

"Rusty?!"

"You haven't eaten in eighteen hours?"

"I have too."

"What did you eat?" Andy asked over Rusty.

Sharon turned the water off and opened the door. "Fine, I didn't eat. I fell asleep. I'm sorry. I was waiting for you to get back."

"Sharon you of all people should never expect anything when called out to a crime scene at a late hour."

"I know. I know." Sharon went to sit down on her bed and felt defeated. "Now, I don't appreciate both of you teaming up on me. Especially you, Rusty."

Rusty rolled his eyes and sat next to Sharon. "I am just worried. I - I mean I still have nightmares from seeing you in the hospital."

"That will weigh on my heart for the rest of my life and I will never be able to take that back. I'm so sorry."

"Sharon, are you going to go to work?"

"Well, Andy wants me to go in with him to get my mind off things. It might help keep me occupied for a few hours." She smiled. "Now if you two will leave my room I will take a shower and get dressed so we can leave." Andy nodded and Rusty walked down the hall to his room to grab his computer.

* * *

The elevator felt like it took forever to get to the ninth floor. Sharon kept staring at the numbers as they climbed to their floor and when the doors opened Lieutenant Provenza was standing there waiting with a smile. "Hello, Captain."

"Lieutenant." She greeted back. He held out his arm and she took it. "I heard you are trying to push me out of my office."

"Flynn!"

"It could use a good dusting Lieutenant if you want to be in there so bad." she smirked as she spoke.

Rolling his eyes as Andy held the door open for them to enter the murder room. Everyone in the room looked up when the trio walked in and the smiles that greeted them had Sharon smiling herself. "Captain! You're back!" Mike hollered.

"Actually I'm not, Andy told me to come in so I could get my mind off things. Or keep an eye on y'all." Sharon sat down in a vacant seat and listened to everyone talk before they actually got back to work. She spent hours listening and watching; sitting on the sidelines was different then playing in the field. Sharon was staring at the white board and as everyone talked back and forth about what was on it, Sharon was trying to figure out exactly what was what in her head. "Amy." Sharon whispered.

Amy moved her chair over towards Sharon and smiled. "What's up Captain?"

"Something doesn't seem right."

"How so."

"I don't know. I have a feeling y'all are missing something. It doesn't add up."

"What do you think is missing?"

"The little girl goes missing at two am in the morning through her bedroom window but the window there is something about that bedroom window. You have fingerprints and footprints on the window yes?"

"No. There wasn't any but the little girls and her parents."

Sharon stood up and walked closer to the board. "Where is a better picture of the window?"

"I have one here Captain?"

Sharon walked over towards Buzz and looked at the video on his laptop. "Freeze that." Sharon looked at the frozen image and nodded. "Just what I thought."

Everyone in the room answered at the same time. "What?"

"It's not a kidnapping. It's staged to look like a kidnapping. The window, if it was a kidnapping the screen would have been cut or busted from the outside in. And the way this one is..

"it was cut from the inside." Mike interrupted.

"Yes."

"So we are looking at the parents." Lieutenant Provenza spoke up.

"Are they due to come in."

"Yes, soon."

"Don't tell them we know about the window. Put them in the conference room let’s see how they react when you tell them the news about their daughter."

"It's good to have you back Captain." Mike patted Sharon on the shoulder then walked towards the break room for coffee. Sharon smiled at the others and excused herself to her office.

Moments later Andy and Provenza walk in and Sharon look up at them. "That was quick of you." Provenza muttered.

"Not really, you guys weren't really doing anything but arguing. Anyways, when the parents get here.."

"They are here?" Andy pointed out the window behind him.

"Oh."

"No."

"Why not?" Andy looked at Sharon and it was another one of their staring contest to see who can overpower the other. "Fine. I'll stay here. Wait."

"No."

Sharon leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest while watching her lieutenants walk into an interview room. Once the door was shut she got up from her seat and walked quickly towards the media room. Opening the door she was greeted Mike, Amy, Julio, and Buzz. All looking at her she stood in the doorway waiting for them to tell her to leave but didn't. Julio pulled a chair out for her and Sharon sat down watching the monitors. "Thank you, Julio." As they all watched the monitors and listened to the interview play out and then end.

"Captain, Lieutenant Flynns, on his way out here."

"OH!" Sharon got up and walked quickly back to her office only to be caught by Andy.

"SHARON!"

"Come on, you can not just drag me down here and expect me not to do anything. This is my department. I.."

"You are on leave Sharon."

"Then why am I here? I could have gone shopping or to visit Emily or Ricky in San Francisco."

"No you wouldn't you'd be in your pajamas on the couch watching television or whining because you have nothing to do and you're bored."

"Then let me do something."

"I can't. You know the rules."

"Ugh, the rules."

"Woah, even Captain by-the-book Sharon Raydor hates the rules sometimes."

"Shut up."

* * *

"We need to talk?" Sharon stood in the kitchen with her arms crossed over her chest and staring at Andy. The level of irritation was high and she didn't move from her spot when he turned around. What happened in the murder room had affected her and made her feel as though she wasn't fit to run her squad even when on leave and not help or offer an opinion. "The way you controlled me today, I didn't like it."

"Sharon.."

"I'm not finished." She held up her hand. "At work, you don't not treat me like that. I am your boss. Though we are a couple, that doesn't give you the right to control me and tell me what I can and cannot do. I can listen in on an interview if I please. That is one thing that just pisses me off. Because I am not able to care for myself with everything going on in my head at the moment does not give you the right."

"I'm sorry. I was.."

"No. I doesn't matter what you were wanting or doing. I don't need you to look out for me. If I couldn't look out for myself I wouldn't have become a police officer." Shaking her head she backed out of the kitchen and grabbed her shoes, keys and purse and walked out of the condo towards the elevator. "Crap, my phone." Shrugging she walked down the garage towards her car and left. Sharon didn't really know where she was going but she needed to get out of there and to some place where she could blow off some steam before she said something to Andy she would regret. Deciding she would just let the car take her wherever she turned the radio up and just drove.

Back at the condo Andy was still trying to make sense of everything. He knew what he did at the office was a little over the top and shouldn't have be he was just looking out her her best interest, maybe the wrong way. Taking his phone out of his pocket he clicked on Sharon's name and called her. When he heard a phone ringing in the living room he walked around the corner and let out a sigh. She left her phone, now how was he suppose to find out where she was.

Pulling up in the parking lot of the beach that Sharon and Andy always come to on Saturdays or just whenever they need to get away. She removed her shoes and her blazer and open the trunk of her car. Getting out she put her purse in the back of the car and took the car key of the chain and stuck the rest in her purse and put the lone key in her pocket. Walking towards the beach she stood just five feet shy of the water and watched it come up onto the sand then retreat. The wind blowing in her hair she looked up at the sky with her eyes closed and took a step further into the water letting it wash over her feet and legs. She was glad she had a dress on for soaking wet pants wouldn't be comfortable. It was peaceful here, there wasn't a lot of people on this beach and she enjoyed it. She figured by now Andy would be out looking for her or just waiting for her to come back but did she want to go back? This beach, the serenity it offered put her in a place that she could stay there forever. Kicking the water as it came up she smiled at the coldness. "I have too many wounds." she mumbled under her breath. "I have too many battle scars."

Andy drove to all the spots he thought Sharon would be before one clicked in his head where she would go that gave her piece and that was quiet where she could think. Turning his car around and drove towards the beach. Pulling up next to Sharon's car he got out and and hurried down the beach towards where Sharon was standing. He didn't speak he stood a few feet away watching her, admiring her. Hearing her talk to herself had him tilting his head, he often wondered how conflicted she really was. Seeing her sand in the cold water and her arms holding her self trying to keep the warmth in her body had him taking his suit jacket off and wrapping around her shoulders. "Sharon?" He whispered.

Sharon felt the jacket wrap around her shoulders and she grabbed the edges pulling it closer to her body. "How did you find me?" Sharon turned around and looked up at him and stepped out of the water.

"It wasn't easy without your phone. But eventually I remember this is the only place that brings you peace and you don't think while you're here." Andy placed his hands on her arms and smiled down at her. Sharon walked passed him and sat down.

"I was hoping you'd leave me alone for a while. It would help me think about what I need to talk you about. I know you have heard me talk about what happened and you were there when you found me at home. I just... you don't know what's going on in my head. Ever since it happened I feel like I can't or probably ever won't be able to go back to the person I was before,and that has me afraid because I'm not this person; a person who becomes a shell and is too weak that she wants to just sleep away the days and or..."

"Or what Sharon?"

"I wish you wouldn't have found me. I know those thoughts are stupid and weak. But I can't get his face out of my head and when I sleep I see his face and he haunts my dreams." Sharon had tears falling down her face as she looked at him. She could tell it was affecting him by the way his eyes had tears forming. Her confession stung and he didn't know how to responded to it. He knew she felt guilty for ever thinking such a thing but she needed to get it all out. "I love you and I couldn't put that hurt and that burden on you or my children. And I am sorry for ever thinking of such a thing."

"Sharon I don't think any less of because of how you feel or how conflicted you are at the moment. And I know with the help of your children and your friends we will overcome this obstacle and no you may not be the same but you can grow from this and try to be some of what you used to be. Be the badass Sharon Raydor we know and love by just getting better, but it will take time. I remember the woman I met all those years ago when I got hurt and the hot tempered and I-don't-take-no-shit FID officer, though we didn't get along I knew there was someone deep down in that woman who had a heart of compassion. Do I want you to retreat back into that person? Hell no she was scary. But you can and will overcome this and we all have your back."

Sharon smiled and leaned into him wrapping her arms around his neck letting herself relax against his chest. "I am sorry I yelled and just walked out. But you didn't over do it." She mumbled.

"I know I'm sorry."

Sharon straightened herself and looked into his eyes. "I want you to tell me when something is bothering you or if something I do is bothering and vice versa. Because I can't handle you controlling me like that especially not after what happened. I need to know that I have breathing room and am able to just do and be.. me. I have noticed I haven't be able to be a mother to Rusty and I am grateful you have been there the past few months and though he is very independent he needs a shoulder to lean on sometimes."

"I will give you what you want, Sharon. But know this, if you are ever feeling like you are having a bad day or moment again please don't shut me out."

"I won't. Promise."

Sharon and Andy sat their in each others arms starring out at the water until the sun went down. Though Sharon still had more she wanted to talk about it was rather hard and she felt that she got the pressing issues off her chest. Knowing Andy would stick by her and not judge her for her actions and her thoughts made her happy to have him in her life. Made her happy that he was in her sons life. Leaning back against him she closed her eyes with a smile on her face and just enjoyed the moment. "You know, I really like having you in my arms."  
  
"Do you now?" She said while turning her head to look up at him. Andy leaned down to kiss her lips. The kiss was slow and passionate but filled with want and desire. "Wanna go home?" All Andy go do was nod as he helped her to her feet and pulled her in for another kiss.

 

**  
**

 


	7. Chapter 7

Sharon woke up the next morning in the with Andy's arm around her waist and the other under her head. Smiling she rolled over and rested her head against his chest and slipped back into sleep. She was happy and content right here in bed with Andy and she didn't want to get up. Listening to his heartbeat was music to her ears and it made falling back to sleep easier in the comfort and warmth of his embrace. For over twenty years she had forgotten what it felt like to be in the arms of a man and to feel that warmth when first awaking in the morning; and now that she has it she doesn't want to give it up.

"Hey Sharon?!" Rusty came barging with a tie in one hand and his suit jacket in the other. When he looked up to see Sharon lazily moving away from Andy he tilted his head. "Sorry."

"No it's fine. Something wrong?"

"I have to like dress up for this speech thing for school. I have to give a presentation and I still can't figure out how to knot a tie."

Sharon motioned for Rusty to come further into the room as she moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "I promise eventually I will teach you. I thought Buzz had told you how to do it?"

"I forgot. I mean I have been practicing but it's hard I always get it wrong and I give up."

"I see. Well.." she patted his chest when she was done. "I will have Andy here help you. He's been knotting ties for many years so I'm sure he won't mind helping you out. And look at the bright side, you only have one tie. Think if you had more than one." She smiled. "Come on I'll make you breakfast." Standing to her feet she grabbed her sweater and put it on and followed Rusty into the kitchen. "What would you like to eat?"

"Maybe nothing to heavy. I don't want to like throw up in front of everyone in class."

"Eggs and toast it is."

"So you guys got back pretty late last night. Everything go alright?"

"We stayed out at the beach for a while. Talked about a few things." Sharon turned the burner on and cracked the egg in the skillet. "We have had some issues that needed discussing. That's all." Sharon watched the eggs heat up as her mind was going back to everything. Flipping the eggs she continued to stare at it and she could hear Rusty talking in the background but she wasn't certain as to what he was talking about for her mind was elsewhere. When the eggs were done she put them on a plate followed by the toast. Turning the burner off she grabbed the plate and walked over to the table where Rusty was sitting and reading his speech. "Here you go."

"Thank you." Rusty replied. "Hey are you alright? You seem different. When I woke you up you were I don't know but now the light in your eyes is gone."

"Not now Rusty."

"Sharon why can't you talk to me?"

"Because you're my son and what is going with me you shouldn't have to be dealing with. Just eat your breakfast please." Sharon walked off and as she turned the corner she ran into Andy. "I didn't know you were up."

"I heard you guys and I smelled food." Andy replied with a frown.

"Oh. You heard that? I'm going to go take a shower." Sharon went to walk past Andy but was stopped by a hand on her forearm.

"Uh huh." Sharon sighed and looked up at Andy. "What's going on?"

"I want a shower."

"No it's not. So quit stalling."

"OK fine." She pushed passed him and walked to her room to shower without answering his question.

Andy walked into the kitchen and looked at Rusty."So, she didn't say what was bothering her?"

"Nope. She was fine when I woke her up to help me with my tie and as soon as she started breakfast she said snapped. I don't know." Rusty replied.

Andy nodded and walked towards Sharon's bedroom. Opening the door he walked in and found Sharon laying on the bed on her back staring up at the ceiling. "Andy I need help."

Closing the door he walked into the room and sat down near her head. "I thought you were, I mean by seeing a therapist?"

"She isn't helping. I keeping snapping and I just want to be happy I was fine one minute when Rusty woke me to help him with his tie and the as I was making him breakfast it's as though I had completely zoned out and when he asked me if I was ok I snapped at him. I can't snap at my children because then they will only want to help more and become worried more."

"Well, since the doctor at the hospital took you off of your medication we can see what else they can put you on that can keep you from doing this."

"I wish there was another solution other than drugs. The department will have me drug tested before I come back and I will probably be on desk duty till I retire. I just I don't want that I like active duty. I was behind a desk when I was in internal affairs and it got boring after a while so that is why I transferred to FID. I needed to be active. If they will give me my gun back I could go to the shooting range and have at it there."

"That is something you are going to have to Taylor about."

"I know. But shooting at targets would release a lot of stress. It's been a while since I shot a gun anyways. I was do to take the qualifiers shots but then all of this shit happened. I will take a shower and follow you to the office and go talk to Taylor and see about getting my gun back on limited circumstances."

"See that wasn't so hard."

Sharon looked up at him and grabbed his shirt to pull him down into a kiss. "So when you guys are finished making out like teenagers. I am going to go to school and I will be back later."

Sharon pulled away from Andy and sat up quickly hitting him in the head in the process and falling back down onto the bed. "Would you learn to knock. And bye."

"Bye."

Rubbing her forehead she looked up at Andy and he was smiling and doing the same. "Your fault."

"My fault?" Andy replied and straddled Sharon's hips.

"Yes your fault you didn't straighten yourself quick enough." She laughed.

And nodded and ran his hands up and down his thighs before resting over her ribs. Sharon tilted her head and started shaking it. "No." She warned. But Andy didn't listed and started tickling her sides. "Andy! Stop!" She laughed. "Andy! That hurts!" Sharon tried to get away from him but he had her pinned. Grabbing his wrists she pulled him down and rolled off the bed. "I told you to stop."

"I see someone has been taking defensive training."

"Nope. I learned that in Academy." She replied. Sharon got up off the floor and walked to her closet grabbing a dress and a few other things before going to the bathroom to take a shower. “No you can make breakfast if you like.” she smiled before disappearing behind the door.

Andy shook his head and got up to go make breakfast, when he was finished he heard Sharon coming down the hall. “Ah, there is the infamous Captain Sharon Raydor.”

Sharon stopped and stared and then looked down at herself. “It’s a black dress. Whatever, what’s for breakfast I’m starving?”

“Haven’t heard you say those words in a while.”

“Hush.”

They sat at the table eating and talking. Sharon cleared the table and did the dishes while Andy went and got ready for work. Thinking over what she wanted to say to Chief Taylor was harder than she had thought. To get her gun back for just a limited time when needed to go to the shooting range was probably not going to be an option. Sharon was hoping maybe he would understand but as she leaned against the counter trying to calm herself she felt strong arms wrap around her waist and Andy’s chin resting on her shoulder. “What you thinking about?”

“Just what I have to talk to Russell about.”

“Well, let’s get going so you can talk to him. Or would you rather wait and simmer?”

“Why do you have to poke at me?”

“Sharon, I can tell you are having a hard time. I am just trying to lighten the mood.”

“Well it sucks.” Pulling away she walked out of the kitchen grabbing her phone and putting it in her purse and grabbing her jacket and leaving the condo without Andy. Waiting for the elevator she looked up as the numbers climbed and Andy stood next to her. “I don’t like it when you tease me.”

“I’m sorry I will stop.” Andy apologized. When the elevator opened the two stepped in and Andy pushed the lobby button. Sharon wouldn’t look at him and he was beginning to think that this trauma seriously screwed up his Sharon. “Sharon?”

“Hmm.”

“I am going to ask you this once, and once only.” Sharon looked at him confused before he spoke. “With what happened to you and what he did to you. Is it more mental than physical trauma that you are trying to run away from.”

Sharon hung her head at his question, she honestly didn’t know how to answer that; no one has asked her that before. No one has paid enough attention to realize she is running away but only in her head but she is stuck running in place. When the elevator open she exited quickly and towards the parking garage door running down the stairs as fast as her stilettos would let her. Taking the keys out of her purse she got in her car quickly so she wouldn’t have to answer his question she couldn’t. Sitting in her car she locked the doors and rested her head against the steering wheel. “Yes.” she whispered.

Andy walked up to Sharon’s car and seen her leaning over against the steering wheel. Placing his hands on the top of the car he knocked on the window; looking up she unlocked the car and opened the door she had tears in her eyes. “Sharon.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“No one has ever asked me that question before.”

“No one?”

“No. I feel as though if I keep running then one day I will finally just get away and everything will be fine. But I’m just digging myself in deeper and driving myself insane. I am literally going crazy because I can’t function enough to be a mother for Rusty or a Captain for my department. It’s just exhausting. I can’t do it anymore.” She confessed.

Andy crouched down beside her and placed his hands on her thigh. He felt for her he really did, he didn’t know what was going on in her head but he knew it was more serious than he thought. “We will find him Sharon. I promise. Please, please don’t give up. I can understand how exhausting it must be but you need to stay strong alright. We are working very hard to find him.”

“I know.”

“Come on, I’ll drive.” Sharon smiled and Andy slid his arm under her legs and one around her shoulders and picked her up out of the car and brought her around to the passenger side of the car. “Your carriage m’lady.” Laughing he put her down and opened the door. Sharon got in and wiped the tears from her face and fixed her make-up in the mirror. “Alright, how about we stop by Starbucks on the way?”

“Yes, please.”

“Alright. Two boost me ups coming right up.” Andy heard a scoff come from Sharon and smiled as he pulled out of the garage.

Sharon and Andy exited the elevator with their coffees in hand. As they walked towards the murder room they were met by silence. Entering the room Sharon looked around and seen no one around and she looked up at Andy. "Where is everyone?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

Sharon walked over to her office and sat down in her chair. Siting her coffee down she noticed an envelope on her desk. Picking it up she opened it and noticed it was from Andy. Looking out the window and seen him talking to Buzz, curiosity got to her and was Buzz here the whole time. Looking back down at the letter she began to read it.

_Dearest Sharon,_

_I know the past few months for you have been hard. I also know I haven’t been no help to your current situation, but I promise I am going to try. I am writing you this letter because sometimes I can’t find the right words to say, but I am going to try. The past few weeks I have been holding something dear to my heart and telling more like asking you…I have had a hard time coming up with the right words to say and so I just want to speak from the heart in hopes that you will see exactly what you mean to me..._

Sharon tilted her head and looked up at the window seeing Andy staring at her. Watching him walk into her office she smiled. “I see you’ve been reading my letter I wrote you.” Sharon looked down and nodded. Looking back up at him, Andy walked around her desk and stood before her.

“I have and you have helped me Andy, so don’t say you haven’t.”

“Okay. So have you read the ending?”

“Well I was about to.” Sharon responded.

“Sharon Raydor?” Andy reached into his suit jacket pocket and pulled a small black box out and held it in his hand. Kneeling down on one knee he smiled. Sharon gasped and her hands went to cover her mouth. “Sharon, I have watched you grow since you took over this department and into this woman with an incredible heart. The moment you entered my heart is the moment I knew I never wanted to let you go.” Opening the small box he held up to her. “Will you do the honor in being my wife?”

Sharon had tears falling down her cheeks and huge smile as she looked at the ring then back at Andy. She felt her heart flutter and was hoping Andy couldn’t hear it beat so loudly. Taking a deep breath she whispered. “Yes.” Andy removed the ring from the small box and put it on Sharon’s finger. “It’s beautiful.” Cupping his face in her hands she pulled him towards into a kiss. “It would be my honor, Andy.”

Andy stood up and wrapped his arms around Sharon’s waist pulling her in tightly. “And I couldn’t be happier to have you as my wife.” Andy responded.

Sharon seen everyone walking around the murder room and it brought her out of her reverie. “I have to meet with Taylor. I’ll be back I promise.” Placing a kiss to Andy’s lips she walked out of her office smiling and waved to Amy who greeted her. Heading towards Taylor’s office she kept looking at her hand. Opening the door she walked into his office and stood there with a bunch of butterflies in her belly. She knew he wasn’t going to let her have her gun back, even just for limited time.

“Sharon.” Russell looked up. “Come in. Have a seat. What is it that brings you to my office?” Sharon sat down in a chair across from Chief Taylor and smiled.

“..well, Andy and I have talked and I have been under a lot of stress lately. So I was wondering could I have my gun…”

“No.”

“Let me finish please.”

“Okay.”

“let me have my gun for a limited time twice a week to go to the shooting range. That will help with my stress. I think.”

“I agree. But Sharon I can’t let you have your gun back, at least for that.”

Sharon nodded and looked out the window. “I guess I’ll just have to stick to wedding planning then. Though that’s even more stressful. So answer me this. Couldn’t you aid me while I go. I just I need something that is similar to work. I can’t do anything while I am here so why can’t can’t you… Please, Russell you don’t understand.”

“Sharon, I know but I can only imagine. I understand what pressure you are under but you know the rules I can’t issue your gun back to you.” Sharon stood up and walked out of his office without a word slamming the door behind her. Remember she didn’t drive here she cursed under her breath. Walking back into the murder room she searched for Andy and approached him.

“Take me home I don’t want to be here anymore.” Sharon walked right passed him and into her office grabbing her purse. Andy following was confused as to what happened in Taylor's office.

"Sharon what did he say?"

"I just, I want to go home."

"No. Well I mean, I'll take you once you tell me what he said. Please."

"He said no that I can't have my gun even under supervision. I'm not a child, Andy; I don't need supervision to go to a shooting range to release some stress."

"I understand that."

"Rules, I hate the damn rules." Andy laughed and leaned against the desk. "What?"

"You Sharon Raydor, lover of all things rules hates them. That is new."

"Well right now I hate them."

"Sharon you will be back in due time."

"You don't sound very optimistic."

Andy smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Will you stay? Please."

"Will you not yell at me if I try to help?"

"I make no promises."

Sharon placed a kiss to his lips before pulling away and walking towards the media room. Looking back at Andy she smiled as she opened the door and to everyone standing there and a big CONGRATULATIONS banner hanging on the wall. When everyone yelled 'surprise' jumping at the shock of everyone she placed her hand over her chest and felt arms wrap around her. Tensing for a moment she looked down and see it was Rusty, and turned around.

"Congratulations, Sharon." Rusty whispered.

"And why aren't you at school?"

"Because I wanted to see your face when all of this happened."

"You knew."

"Kinda."

"Either you do or you don't." she laughed.

"I didn't ask the boy if it was alright if I ask you. So he knew that much."

"So does this mean we have to move? I really don't want to move."

Both Sharon and Andy looked at each other and shrugged. "No Rusty, we don't have to move." Sharon answered.

"Where are we with the suspect?" Lieutenant Provenza interrupted. Tao rolling his eyes replied.

"Interview room one."

Sharon left the media room without a word and headed towards interview room one. When Andy noticed she was missing he looked out and seen she was nowhere to be found but a flash of brunette hair rounding a corner. Sharon knew the case and had no problem interrogating the suspect it was getting past Andy that was the problem. “Sharon!” Sharon turned around and gave Andy the look. “Fine. Let’s go. But I’m leading.” Sharon rolled her eyes and followed Andy to the interrogation room.

Once they entered they both sat across from the suspect who seemed to be annoyed. Sharon sat there listening to Andy and the suspect talk back and forth and when it was quiet she finally spoke up as she grabbed the folder from in front of Andy. “This girl was seen entering your apartment Saturday evening.”

“Fine she came over to my apartment but she left like two hours later. I don’t know what happened to her after she left.”

Sharon and Andy looked at each other and Andy pulled out another photo. “Do you know this man?”

“No.” The suspect barely glances at the photo and turns his head.

“So then why won’t you look at the photo Carlos?” Sharon asked. “Is it because you killed him too.” She pulled out another autopsy photo.

“I didn’t kill nobody.” Carlos yelled.

“Calm down.” Andy ordered.

Amy came in and whispered into Andy’s ear and they all excused themselves. “Carlos you sit tight we'll be back.”

After dealing with Carlos and sending him on his merry way because they really didn’t have much evidence to hold him other than the fact he knew both victims. Sharon and Andy sat in her office staring at one another. Neither said a word but just blank looks. Sharon finally gave in and decided to speak. “Fine. Lock the doors.” Andy stood up and went to lock the doors and shut the blinds. “First off, Rusty is the only one that knows and I want to wait to tell Rick and Emily because they will tell Jack and you know how that will go. Second, if you start commanding me like you did yesterday; you will be sleeping on the couch.” Sharon started explaining all her conditions as Andy stood in front of her.

“Is that all?” He asked.

“At the moment? Yes.” Sharon responded.

“Good.”  Andy stepped up to Sharon and placed his hands on the edge of the desk and leaned down to capture her lips in a kiss. Sharon wrapped her arms around her fiance’s neck; that thought as she made that move had her smiling into the kiss. She never thought she’d get married again; more or less find someone to complete the rest of her life, such as Andy has. As the kiss continued to deepen, Andy grabbed Sharon by the hips and lifted her up onto her desk. Pulling away he rested his forehead against hers. “I’ve had thoughts of you and I in your office.”

“Have you?” Sharon questioned. “Well, I’m afraid to burst your little dream but our colleagues are here and I’m afraid that would be a little inappropriate.”

“Doors are locked I doubt they will…” A knock on the door alerted both of them that they were needed. “See.” Andy rested his head on her shoulder and she smiled. “Just a minute.” Sharon responded to whomever was on the other side. “Andy? How about later we go get some dinner and…”

“Ok.”

“Eager, aren’t we.” Sharon pushed him away and patted him on the cheek. Walking to open the door she ran a hand over her skirt to smooth out the wrinkles. “Yes, Lieutenant?”

“Oh, uh, Morales said he has the results of the tox screen.”

“Great.”

“Provenza and I’ll go.” Andy volunteered.

“Okay.” Mike walked away and Sharon turned back towards Andy who was leaning against her desk. “It’s so hard not to actually be working but working when I’m here.”

“Does Taylor know?”

“I’m sure he’s figured it out. But no.”

“Well, all you can do is continue to go to therapy and report to Taylor on your progress. Or is the therapist reporting to him?”

“My therapist is reporting to him.” Sharon responded. Sharon walked over to her chair and sat down and slouched. “I hate this. I just want to be back here so I can focus on something else. Not working has me focusing on what happened, y’know. It’s really stressful and depressing. I’ve finally gotten back to, well, somewhat myself and if I can’t get a simple routine back in my life how can I move on?”

“That is a question you should ask both Taylor and your therapist.” Andy walked over and place a kiss to her head and walked towards the door. “I’ll be back soon. Then, we can go get dinner.” Sharon nodded and opened her laptop to check her emails or to just search the web.

* * *

Once Andy returned he found Sharon asleep her head resting on her arms. Smiling as he stood in the doorway, he shut the door to her office quietly and walked to where everyone was talking. “Let’s leave Sharon alone for a while.”

“Is she alright?” Amy asked.”

“Yea she’s fine. She’s asleep actually.” He responded with a slight chuckle. “It’s the medication her therapist has her on; makes her drowsy.”

“How’s that going by the way?” Sanchez asked as he looked up at Andy.”

“She’s taking it like a champ. One step at a time. She’s getting antsy and wants to come back to work and actually work and or have her gun back so she can go to the shooting range and take out her frustration that way but Taylor said the rules won’t let her. She is hating the rules right now.”

“What?” Provenza laughed. “I never thought I’d hear that coming out of her mouth.”

“Me either. She was so adamant on the rules before, I guess your bad behavior finally rubbed off on her.”

“Hey.” Everyone started laughing and then decided to get back to working.

Back in Sharon’s office a sleeping Sharon was having a silent nightmare that everyone outside her office was oblivious to. Mumbling incoherent words in her sleep, the once quiet words got louder and were heard by Andy and everyone else. Andy rushed into the office and to Sharon’s side trying to wake her. “Sharon.” Grabbing her arms and sitting her up in her chair, turning her to face him, she started to fight him. “Sharon.” Provenza walked in and Andy ordered him to shut the door so no one else would see, though it was heard. “Sharon. Grab her shoulders.” Andy cupped her face, not caring about how hard she was hitting him though weak from being confined to her chair. “Sharon open your eyes.”

“No, let me go.” Sharon cried out.”

“Andy?” Provenza whispered.”

“Give her a minute.” Andy ordered. Shaking his head he took her into his arms holding her tight as he sat on the floor against the cabinets. Whispering in her ear he closed his eyes. It had been a while since Sharon had had a nightmare this bad and to have someone witness to what Sharon is going through and to what he had to see every night caused his heart to ache. When Sharon finally calmed down her hands gripping his suit jacket in fists she started breathing normally and pulled herself closer into him. “Give us a minute. Mention this to no one.”

“Okay.” Before Louis exited the office he looked down at Andy with sorrow in his eyes. “If it helps I can have Patrice stay with her during the day at her condo. Or just to spend time with her. They could go out and do something.”

“I’ll talk about it with her.” Andy responded. Provenza left the office and shut the door behind him to curious colleagues waiting for answers. Holding up his hands he walked over to his desk. “She’s fine. Do not mention this to Chief Taylor.” Everyone shook their heads and it was quiet as everyone went back to work.

“Andy.” Sharon whispered as she raised her head.

“Yes, Sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

“Can we go home?”

“We can.” Sharon moved off his lap and helped Andy to his feet. Wrapping her arms around his waist she leaned her head against his chest.

“I hate having nightmares.”

“I thought you weren’t having them anymore.”

“I wasn’t but sometimes I do when I just… I don’t want to talk about it. Right now, I want to try and stay awake and be with you and Rusty.”

“That we can do.” **  
**  
  



	8. ANNOUNCMENT

**I know most of you like this story and this story is my baby. You may have noticed I've added chapters to chapters to make them longer so that shortened the story to seven chapters. I'm currently working on Chapter fourteen which is now Chapter Eight.**

**Recap: One because I've taken so long to update: Andy and Sharon got engaged and Sharon had a relapse.**

**Don't fret but something happens in this next chapter and I know most aren't going to be happy about but as Proftweety said she needs time to recover. And a lot of events are going to take place in Sharon's life that she isn't going to think about but only on herself and it's going to be poor judgement and will eventually push away the people she loves because she feels as though what she's going through is too much of a burden for anyone to handle but herself.**

**If you haven't noticed, I have taken Philip Stroh out of the story and placed him with a person who Sharon arrested a long time ago (a cop killer with a grudge) Because as we seen Stroh escaped and is probably overseas at this point. So I see it pointless to keep him in my story if he isn't mention any further in the show.**

**If any of you have any ideas of something you want to see in our story please don't hesitate to message me on here privately because sometimes I don't see my reviews unless I see them pop up in my email. I also have a tumblr which you can reach me at ( .com)**

**Love, DarthRaydor**

**-Amber**

 


	9. Chapter 9

Sitting in the car on the way home Sharon look out the window. What she was feeling in that moment from exhaustion to excitement over her engagement to Andy. With every passing building and every passing street light she would look up into the sky and look at the stars. The time spent in the car was a silent one and she was thankful for that. When Andy pulled up to the building she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Andy?” she said shakily. “I’m so sorry.” she looked over at the man she loved deeply but after the night she had and how he had to bare witness to her having nightmares again; she needed the space to just breath.

Taking his hand in hers, he looked down at their joined hands and felt something hit his palm. “Sharon?” He asked in confusion.

“I can’t. After what happened today, you don’t deserve to have to live this with me.” Tears were falling down her cheeks faster; she knew she should have gotten out of the vehicle before they even started talking but she had to explain. “Andy, I love you. You don’t understand the amount of love I have for you. I’m suffocated by everything right now.”

“I suffocate you?”

“No. Oh God no.” She replied quickly. “Everything happening in my life. Happening to me. I need a chance to just breath and having you and Rusty constantly worrying about me and watching me is just too much. I just, I can’t. I’m sorry.” Sharon quickly got out of the car and walked quickly towards the front doors of her building and to the elevators. When the elevator didn’t come quick enough she ran towards the stairs and ran up as many flights as she could before she dropped to her knees and sat on the stairs leaning against the wall with her knees pulled up to her chest. She knew Andy couldn’t walk nor run eleven flights so she had the time to herself; but he would eventually call Rusty and he would come looking for her.

Sharon’s phone started ringing and pulled her out of her staring into the wall across from her. Looking at the caller I.D. it was Rusty. Hitting ignore she looked up and seen him looking down. Shaking her head she stood up and walked the rest of the way to her condo with Rusty meeting her halfway. Rusty not saying a word but just staring and Sharon appreciating his distance she placed an arm around his shoulders and leaned against him. They walked back the condo and she sat heavily on the couch and stared at the television in front of her. “Mom?”

Sharon ignoring him just stood up and walked to her room shutting the door gently behind her and shedding her clothing on the way to her closet for her pajamas. Hearing a knock on her door and a mumbled ‘mom’ she ignored him again as tears rolled down her cheeks. She knew as a mother it was going to be hard to ignore her child. “Sharon!”

Her head shot up and she looked towards the door. Rusty hasn’t called her that in a long time and would only use her name if he was worried or trying to get her attention when she didn’t hear him. Walking over towards the door she opened it and stared at him. It was quiet as they stare at one another before she turned around and sat on her bed. “You were doing so good. What happened?”

His words registered and she tilted her head. “I was doing good?” She asked as she looked up at him. “Explain to me how I was doing good, Rusty. Because as I see it, all I was doing is taking medication to keep me in a state so I could live normally, to forget.”

“You stopped taking your meds didn’t you.”

“No.”

“If you didn’t you wouldn’t be acting like this.”

“Get out.”

“Mom, you need to take your medication. It- I don’t like seeing you like this.”

“Then don’t.”

“What?”

Sharon stood up and paced back and forth in front of her bed trying to gather the right words to say to her son. So many thoughts were running through her head and she just wanted to lock herself away and cry until all of them went away. Rusty seen her tighten her hands in fists at her sides and could see the frustration on her face. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he sent a group text to Andy and Lieutenant Provenza. Two people he trusted most besides Sharon. When he got replies, and his phone made a noise, Sharon stopped pacing and faced him. “What are you doing?”

“I texted Andy.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s clearly the only one who can talk sense into you.”

“Give me your phone.”

Rusty took a step back and placed his phone in his pocket. When Sharon took a step towards him he put his arms out in front of him. Rusty had tears in his eyes and was trying hard not to have them fall, he was scared for his mother. Hearing his phone go off again she squinted and tried to grab his phone. Rusty walking quickly out of the room called Andy and locked himself in his room. “Lieutenant, it’s bad she’s not herself. It’s like - she is is a completely different person. Aggressive and staring off into space and I don’t know what to do.”

“I’m on my way now, just don’t leave her.”

“I had to lock myself in my room.”

“Why?”

“Well.. It’s like she’s possessed or something.”

“I can assure you she’s not possessed. She had a nightmare and she relapsed and it’s sent her back a step.”

“Oh.”

“I’m on my way up.”

“Ok.”

Sharon was sitting on the couch when she seen Rusty come out of his room. Looking towards him walking to the door she just watched him. When Andy stepped in his when all she wanted to do was argue but she really didn't have it in her, she felt, defeated.

"Sharon?" Andy knelt down in front of her. He could see confliction and pain in her eyes. "Sharon look at me."

Sharon looked at Andy, “I told you to go away.”

“Sharon come on we are going to go somewhere. Peaceful and relaxing, okay?” Andy lied he didn’t know what else to do but to get Sharon help. “So why don’t you go get dressed and we will go.”

“The beach?” Sharon asked. Andy nodded felt guilty. “Okay.” Sharon stood up and walked slowly to her room.

“Andy, what are you doing?” Rusty whispered.

“She’s a danger to herself and this is the only way, Rusty. I love that woman in that room and I can’t sit here and see her fall apart physically and emotionally before one day it just kills her. Do you want that? To see you mother like that?”

“No.”

“Then this is the only way. She will get the treatment she needs because obviously doing it on her own is not working, Rusty."

"Andy I'm ready." Sharon announced as she walked around the corner.

"Good. Let's go."

"Lieutenant?"

Andy just stared at Rusty as he placed Sharon's coat around her shoulders. He could tell Rusty didn't like where this was going and was very protective of Sharon. "Be back before you know it."

Riding in the elevator down to the parking garage, Sharon leaned against the elevator wall staring up at Andy. “Andy, I have my moments but I need you to understand that I can’t get better if you baby me.”

“I know. But giving me back your ring won’t keep me from marrying you, Sharon.” Taking the ring out of his pocket he placed in on her finger. “Pushing me away isn’t going to work.” When the elevator doors opened Andy took her hand and they walked towards his car. Opening the passenger side door to let Sharon in first he smiled and shut her door exhaling and having the look of regret of what he was about to do to the woman he loved. Getting in the car he looked over at her and smiled. Turning the engine on he pulled out having Sharon think they were heading in the direction towards the beach. They were technically, the place he was taking her was close she would be able to see the water. “Sharon we need to make a stop before we go to the beach.”

“Okay.” Sharon replied.

“Just have to talk to someone.” Andy gave Sharon a half smile as he reached over and took her hand in his. Pulling up to the large building he turned the the car off. “Want to come in with me?”

“Sure.” both exciting the vehicle walked hand in hand up the large steps into the building. Once Sharon saw the inside she grew curious as to whom exactly Andy needed to talk to. When a doctor approached them with a smile, the couple stopped walking. “Andy?”

“Lieutenant.” Doctor Matthews greeted.

“Sharon.” Andy looked down at her and held both of her hands. “I love you very much. But this is the only way you will get better. I hate that I have to do this but I can’t see you fight with yourself anymore.”

Sharon tried backing away as she shook her head. “No, Andy.” Memories were images in the back of her mind were coming to be vivid pictures. The doctor nodded to two nurses and they stepped behind Sharon blocking her pathway to the door.

“Take her upstairs.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning. Sharon finally has her break through moment.

 

Sharon sits in the lounge chair in her room staring out the window at the water she can see afar. Everyday nurses come and go from her room but she makes no effort to speak to them nor make an effort to listen. All that is weighing on her mind is what Andy did to her, put her behind bars. The only visitors she would allow were her children and even then that was limited. The feeling of wanting to be left alone so your family and friends didn't have to watch and go through the burden of having to live with such pain weighed heavy on Sharon's shoulders so she pushed everyone away. 

"Sharon?"

Sharon turned her head to see who was at her door to her tiny room that she was actually growing fond off. They let her decorate it to her taste with pictures of her family and drawings that she drew during her time her. "What?" She replied a little too harshly. 

"You haven't told me my story today?"

"I don't feel like it." 

"Please." Another patient pleaded. 

"Fine."

The patient walked into the room and sat on the bed. Her name was Elli. A sixteen year old girl who was admitted three years prior. Some say she is crazy but that may be true after killing your whole family including the cat. 

"What story do you want to hear today?"

"The one you told me yesterday. About the boy."

"Five years ago I met this boy his name was Rusty. He was sixteen and with a troubled past. At the time he was living on his own on the streets because his mother abandoned him. One night, Rusty met with this guy and they both witnessed something terrible happening but the other guy got away leaving Rusty to run away to fight for his life against the bad man. After that I and other police officer handled his safety but turns out this bad man was really smart. He found Rusty and tried to kill him so he couldn't be a witness.."

"Ooo. That sucks." Ellie uttered. 

Raising an eyebrow Sharon continued on with her and Rusty's life story. "Rusty went on to live through many foster care homes until he ended up back in my office; Rusty was very upset that Brenda wasn't there and that we weren't at the time looking for his mother. So I being very nice took Rusty into my home and gave him everything he ever wanted."

"Did you become his mama?"

"We will get to that." Sharon responded. “Though Rusty was reluctant at first, he soon opened up and let me into his life as his guardian…” A knock at the door had both their heads turning and Sharon rolling her eyes when a nurse walked in. 

“Ellie, you know you aren’t suppose to be in here?” 

“But she was telling me a story.” 

“Come on Ellie.” The nurse escorted Ellie out of the room and Sharon went back to staring out the window. 

 

* * *

Weeks went by and all Sharon did was just sit by the window looking out over the ocean she could see from a distance. It brought memories of when she and Andy would go and walk along the beach and the sand between her toes and the water up to her ankles as she giggled at something Andy said. Now, she was bitter and refused to see Andy. Andy, the man she loved just locked her away because of what, she didn't know; or did she. Sharon knew she wasn’t well, she knew she was on the brink of falling over the edge of no return for sanity. Andy was right, she needed help but she was too stubborn to ask for it. All Sharon wanted was to go home and to get out of this hell. The screaming and the crying from other patients was driving her to become like them. She’d find herself screaming through her nightmares at night and waking up in tears.

“Sharon?” The voices in her head had consumed her and her thoughts of where Philip Stroh is has had her zoning out. “Sharon?” She’s sitting in a chair, her knees are up to her chest as she chews on her fingernail and sifts through the thoughts that have consumed her soul. “Captain Raydor!” Sharon turned her head towards the man sitting across from her in his cushy black computer chair. “What are the voices telling you today?” 

“What voices?” She wanted to appear sane so she could leave. She hated this place. “I need to leave. I need to find him.”

“Find who?”

“James Harrison.”

“Sharon, they caught him already. We talked about this last week.” 

“No. He escaped. He - he is the reason I’m in this hell hole and I need to get out I need to find him.” She stood up and walked over towards the window. Looking down she saw nothing but green grass and trees that were blowing in the wind. That’s what she missed, the wind in her hair. Opening the window she smile as she felt the sunshine on her face and the wind in her hair. The bars on the windows prevented her from doing any harm to herself. “Do you know what I miss?”

“What do you miss, Sharon?” 

“The sun, the sand under my feet and the sound of the ocean. It was my escape, my escape from James Harrison. Andy would take me to the beach and we’d listen to the water and have small picnics. Sometimes we’d go and watch the sun set and the beautiful colors that are painted in the water.” 

“Have you seen Andy since you’ve been here?”

“I don’t want to see him. He put me in this place.”

“Do you still love him?”

“Of course. Why would you say that?”

“It’s just a question, Sharon.” The therapist shift in his seat and looked at his paper. “Sharon why don’t you come sit down.” 

“No.” 

“We need to talk about your condition, Sharon.” 

“I don’t want to talk about my condition. I don’t have a damn mental issue as you doctors like to call them!” she was getting irritated and she just wanted to be left alone. “You think you can fix me! You think after everything I’ve been through I can just go back from being raped, beaten and stabbed by the one man who tried to kill me. I’m so done with everyone trying to tell me what I should do!” Sharon grabbed a glass ball off the therapist desk and threw it across the room and it shattered to a million pieces against the wall. “I have to live with what he did to me everyday!” A doctor and a few nurses ran into the office and Sharon backed herself against the wall. 

“Hold on.” He told his co-workers. Sharon was in tears and all the emotions and frustrations she had towards herself and what happened was finally coming to the surface. 

“I have to live with what he did to me everyday. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat.” Sharon sunk down to the floor bringing her knees to her chest. “His face. I have to see his face when I sleep, I’m exhausted.” Sharon stood up slowly and started pacing. “His face, I see it everywhere. I can still feel his hands on me and what he did to me. I just want it to end.” 

“Sharon it will end. You just have to be patient.” 

“I can’t be patient.” Taking a large step towards the desk she grabbed the letter opener and backed herself towards the window. “You try living with what I have to. It’s agony! No person should have to live like this!”

“Sharon put the letter opener down.” 

“I can’t do that.” she cried.

“Why not?”

“The voices.”

“What are the voices telling you, Sharon?”

“To end it. I escape. I’ve become one of them.” 

“Sharon look at me. The voices have no control over you here. You choose to control the voices.” A male nurse was slowly inching his way over to Sharon as she kept looking at the therapist. Her tears keeping her vision blurry all she could do was focus on one person until she felt hands grab her from behind. “No, don’t.” The therapist yelled. The male nurse had Sharon pinned against the desk, her screams piercing everyone’s ears. “Sharon don’t fight it.” Feeling something pinch her she kept looking at the therapist afraid to look elsewhere. When Sharon’s body finally relaxed the nurse picked her up and placed her on a gourney. “Sharon.” the therapist moved her hair out of her face. “We will get there, I promise.” 

  
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Turning her head away she closed her eyes, she was in hell and she was never going to get out.


End file.
